Eternal Damnation ... as a damage?

Overheard in a class on Remedies

Remedies prof: "Ok. So assume that the Doctor says 'No one is gonna die in my hospital. I'm gonna give the blood transfusion' [to a J. Witness who doesn't want it]. Sure he committed a battery. What what are the damages? He saved his life. [Pause] I suppose the damage could be eternal damnation... but how would you plead that? And how much do you ask for?"

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Law and Order Coloring Book.
Keep an eye out for the maze that leads from the arraignment to the trial and the connect the dot of Briscoe....

(Overheard on a thread about knitted law and order placemats.)

The truth comes out

[After Graduating Students Dinner]

3L #1: So you are coming to the party, right?

3L #2: No, man, I have to get home and study.

3L #1: After 29 years of life, and 3 years of law school, you are still the lamest person I know.

That makes two of us...

Professor: So say on the exam, I tell you that [long, convoluted hypothetical about derivatives]. What's your biggest concern?

3L: Graduating.

You don't even know me...

3L: So why would I trade a stock when the derivative has lower transaction costs?

Professor: Well, who are you?

3L: Wow...that's real Socratic method...

[Awkward silence.]

Studying hard or hardly studying?

2L #1: How did your final go?

2L #2: "It's not that I didn't study hard enough, it's just that the professor didn't write a good test"

finals are to AP tests as law school is to...

After 1L finishes describing finals to his little brother, who just took the AP tests...

"Wow, that sounds exactly like my week, except larger and more absurd."

-- Overheard by MM

Procrastination and Federal Courts

2L: (one hour before the final exam) I thought that I'd glance at the hornbook before the exam. (pause) Wow, it's actually pretty good.

A Few Words From the Politically Incorrect

(Overheard during a debate about writing a legislative bill for sterilization in class)

2L #1: I don't think (professor) will like your bill. He's a DEFENSE attorney! He's going to side with the defendants!

2L #2: I'm all for the cripples, too, but....



(And a few minutes later...)

2L #3: That was a horrible case! Those poor people got totally screwed!

2L #2: But they were aliens!

That's what my mom said...

2L Passenger: I think being in the car makes me have to pee.

2L Driver: It's like you're biologically constructed to frustrate me.

Political views?

via IM
2L: Did you hear about the NSA phone bank?
2L: cnn.com
1L: wow
1L: that is absurd
1L: george bush makes me want to kick small puppies
1L: and i like puppies

1L: "Charging that guy with murder for telling his friend to go kill himself is like like telling a guy to go fuck himself and getting charged with rape."
Overheard by JP

Sounds like somebody just lost a kidney

1L: “I think there are two kinds of people who would sell their organs. First is poor people…and second is stupid people! There are a lot of people who make bad decisions. There are people who would sell their organs and put $10,000 on red 23 at Queen’s Casino.”

Overheard by nicky

i'll never forget conditions subsequent again

Professor, while miming smoking crack:“if the conveyance goes... from O to A for life, and then to B, unless B starts smoking crack... and i mean starts. When B puts the crackpipe upto his lips, he doesn't get the property.”

Overheard by nicky

So that's what the hooding ceremony involves

...during graduation rehearsal...

Dean of Students: "So you'll come over here, turn around, and bend over..."

Overheard by SB

Worst vacation trip EVER!

tourist and family walking by law school's library

Father: (says name of school outloud) Wow, look at them all, just plugging away. Kids, they're memorizing laws so they can become rich lawyers.
Kids: Ooh.

Overheard by CR

Good family values

Family Law Prof (handing out the final exam): If you open the exam before I tell you to, I will beat you...and not in the fun way!

Overheard by CR

When nerds make friends...

1L on cell: You know, I wish I was still anti-social. I wasn't any less unhappy, but at least no one cared.

The things you do to procrastinate

2L#1, walking from across the hall to see what the commotion is in the other classroom: what are you guys doing in here, studying?
2L#2: No, I’m trying to get him to watch horrible, horrible porn.

Overheard by RB

Advice to live by

Con Law Review:

Con Law Prof Extraordinaire: "I don't know what you guys know about exam writing"
IL: "we don't either."
CLPE : "you don't either, well that's good."

CLPE: "You've gotta see the forest through the trees, and there are a lot of trees you can get caught in, or..."
1L: "struck by"

CLPE: "i'm more interested in what's going on in your head…I mean not generally, I've got enough problems myself ...give me a chance to peek into your constitutional head."

CLPE: "I don't suggest people do what I did in law school…I used to smoke back then and I used to take notes on the back of matchbook covers…and then I'd get home and throw them on the dresser and find them later on…"

Overheard by TEC

Short and to the point

Crim Law Review

Crim Law Prof discussing common law crimes: "Kidnapping- we have a kid and a napping. There you go. Moving onto rape."

Overheard by KW

Nerdly virtues?

Civ Pro Review

Civ Pro Prof about Special Damages: "There is this case for special damages, if you’ve heard of this one, you won’t ever forget special damages. P got hit by a car & did all the normal damages- lost of wages, pain & suffering; but he also claimed a permanent erection, and this was before Viagra. Heck, my wife is out there pushing me in front of cars all the time…"

Civ Pro Prof: "Law school, like life itself, rewards the nerd-ly virtues."

Civ Pro Prof about Discovery: "What is your normal response when someone sues you- hey, this guy is an asshole, lets schedule him for 19 proctological exams next week."

Overheard by KW

Buyer's Remorse

2L #1: This umbrella was a good purchase.
2L #2: Yeah. It's no samurai sword, but...
2L #1: Oh yeah, I bought a samu...fuck.

Stiff competition

1L#1: I heard they don't give grades at Yale.
1L#2: Then how do they figure out the valedictorian?
1L#1: I dunno...whoever sucks the best dick?
1L#2: I would so win.

-- Overheard by MM

Forgotten PR quotes of note

2L: “I thought it was a plunger, not a broomstick.”
PR Prof: “No, because that would be gross.”

Later,
PR Prof: “You don’t remember the case? An officer shoved a broken plunger up his butt, but really, you don’t need to know that to grasp the problem. Assault is assault.”

Like a Trained Seal

Plaintiff's Attorney: Hi, how are you?

Summer for Defense Attorney: Good, and yourself?

Plaintiff's Attorney: (To Defense Attorney) You trained her well.

Defense Attorney: (Gives "you're an asshole" look) Yeah.

Plaintiff's Attorney: Now sweetie, what's your name?

Summer: (silence and look from Plaintiff's Attorney) Ohh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me dollface?

(Defense Attorney smiles like a proud father.)

Dancing + law school = magic

Coming back from a bar at 7pm

1L: That's the first time I've talked to 1L2 in a year and I just got him to piroeutte for a sobriety test on the front steps.

-------------------------

1L: I've got it! Instead of taking our notes into the exam we'll just study property through interpretive dance. (commenses dancing to show property principles)

-- overheard by piratelaw

Wisdom from the International Superstar

International Superstar professor: "that's the one common denomenator with all of these cases, someone sued! otherwise there wouldn't be court cases."

ISP: "if i can train [foreign country] judges in a week, i can make you all experts in international law in a semester!"

ISP: "what is the first line of the declaration of independence?"
1L: "'we the people'"

Overheard by TEC

Con Law contributions

Con Law Prof, Extraordinaire: 'heterosexual couples could engage in oral sex, anal sex, and any other kind of sex without breaking the law!'

CLPE in re lawrence v. texas: "the police are much more likely to come in response to a gunshot rather than...people screaming too loud."

CLPE: "there were laws against masturbation, hm, i didn't realize that...think of all the people who would be in jail! certainly all males under the age of 12!"

CLPE: "as far as i know there is no way to conceive a child through sodomy...so it's a form of contreception! what a great way to end class..."

Overheard by TEC

Note from Liser

I've been a bad admin; while I was taking finals, I didn't post any of your contributions. They will be posted over the next few days, so if you sent something in (and it's funny), you should see it soon.

Thx
Management

On Anxiety...

3L fretting over an exam the next day: "God, I'm so freaked out. I feel like I'm going to a fucking prison rape tomorrow."

Lowest common denominator

2L #1: My second wind hasn't blown away yet.
2L #2: Do you need me to pull your finger or something?

Finals time is a special time

2L #1: I hit a woman in Minnesota.
2L #2: Did you mount her on the wall?
2L #1: No, just her baby.

Sure Hunny

(Discussing Anna Nicole Ruling)

2L Girl: Who does she think she's fooling with those implants, they look so fake.

2L Guy: If you can touch them they're real.

2L Girl: I've felt fake breasts before and that is just erroneous.

2L Girl's Boyfriend: Please tell me you're referring to the shot girl who forced you to feel her up at the titty bar and not something else.

2L Girl: ...

Finals delirium, again

2L: Naked dancing makes me think of Justice Ginsburg.

Jack McCoy Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About the Law.

(During a study session for Criminal Procedure)

Prepared 2L: You never went to class, how do you know this stuff? Did you study before today?

2L Slacker: No, I just used to watched a lot of Law and Order and Law and Order SVU in undergrad while my friends and I would sit around and blaze. Jack McCoy is my hero.

Prepared 2L: I don't know if I should be annoyed or impressed.

2L Slacker: Impressed, I remember it even though I was blazed.

Right Track, Wrong Direction

After a gunner has opened her mouth and is wrong in her in answer

Professor: Well, you are sort of on the right track...

The Special Gunner: (Cutting the Professor Off) As Usual!!

Professor: But you missed [the major points]...

Monday Fun

1L#1: Hey does anybody know how the immigration boycott is going today?

1L#2: Well, I was able to get a burger at Burger King, so I haven't been affected.

-----------

1L: I spilled water on my pants and it looks like my vagina is in the wrong place . . . Don't worry, guys, it isn't.

1L's BF: Stop talking.

Hos (in different are codes, area codes)

Student 1: Do you think there are people who really believe those justifications about cheating, like, if it's in another state it doesn't count, or if it's in another country it doesn't count?
Student 2: Yep. It's the same reason people believe in God. Just to make themselves feel better.

More Finals Delirium

1L#1: The assignment was gratuitous.

1L#2: That's my favorite kind of movie sex...(blank stares)...gratuitous.

1L#3: Forced and awkward.

1L#1: That's my favorite kind of real life sex.

Finals Delirium

1L#1: If it's a total integration, you have to figure out if it's collateral.

1L#2: However, if it's a total eclipse of the heart...

1L#3: Then you have to get Bright Eyes to turn around.

Yeah, That Helps

1L: How are we supposed to figure out if we should apply the doctrine or not on a multiple choice test? I mean, are we gonna say, “Well, it’s either A or B and I hope to god it’s B?” Or are we gonna be able to figure out what you’re expecting?

Prop Prof.: You should be able to figure out what I’m expecting. Let me put it this way: I would be able to figure out what I’m expecting by what’s on the exam.

Tight Lawyers

Trial Ad Instructor: Lawyers are just so tight all the time. In fact, they don't let loose people into law school!

3L (totally deadpan): My mom will be happy to hear that.

--As seen on Will Work For Favorable Dicta

Truth hurts

Young-looking 2L girl on cell phone: She said what? That's really uncool of her to say, I mean, that hurts.
Passerby: High school?
2L girl: Law school.

ethical emissions

2L: I have to pee, but I think I’m gonna hold it so I can go in the middle of PR.

-- Overheard by RB

the merits of Tarantino

Evidence prof: A classic 403 issue involves pictures of the deceased as part of a murder trial. Are they too inflammatory? No! We can sensitize the jury! We can take them to the movies and show them Kill Bill 2!

Oh homonyms

2L: What's the point of Cox?

More Fun With Undergrads

1L#1: You can actually take up to 6 hours outside the law school. Just tell [Dean of Students] there's a hole in your undergrad you want to fill.

1L#2: A more accurate statement would be that there are about 15,000 undergrad holes I'd like to fill.

Size matters...

Having a discussion about the professor's exam from the previous semester:

Professor: Did you think last year’s exam was too long?

2L: You know, I’m a slow test taker and all…but I thought that this exam was overly long

3L: You are in law school, just deal with it

If we only knew before we registered...

In the middle of a classroom discussion about the final:

2L #1: You know what’s wrong with this class?
2L #2: Everything.
2L #1: Took the words right out of my mouth

why we wait in line at the airport

Infamous 1L in Property: Yeah I mean it makes sense right? When the airport security makes your take off your shirt to prove your breasts aren't bombs right?

Property Professor: Oh Mr. 1L, I will certainly miss your questions.

From an unlikely source

1L: I have a jacket that is white leather and orange sherbet suede.

wrap it up

Con Law Professor: There was a case recently filed where a father is challenging a court order to provide child support, because he did not want the child's mother to have the baby. Any thoughts on this?

1L: When I get lucky, I should probably wear a condom

Last Minute Questions?

Prof: “Now that we’ve gone through all of that, it will not be on the exam. Obviously, I wasn’t going to tell you that before we got started. . . . Questions – Well of course you’re not going to have questions.”

-- Overheard by Prof. Schwarzenegger

_______

Con Law Prof: "In order to get through all of the material today, I’m just going to lecture. I won’t ask any questions. Well, I don’t intend to ask any questions. If I ask any questions, don’t answer them."

-- Overheard by A Law Bitch

At least it's not K-Fed!

3L #1: Oh good I have 8 minutes to listen to more

3L #2: What you you listening to?

3L #1: Oh the oral arguments from Kelo v. New London I downloaded onto my ipod.

-- Overheard by MP

Law School Vocabulary Lesson

1L: What is "onerous"?
Contracts Prof.: "Onerous" means unduly burdensome. You gotta use it. It is a "law word". It comes in a little gift pack with "egregious".

-- Overheard by Blondelaw

A lake?

1L on last day of Civil Procedure: "What's Erie?"

-- Overheard by KW

I suppose calling the police was out, too

Crim Law Prof: [In discussing a North Carolina case in which a battered woman who was forced into prostitution by her husband, kills him in his sleep.] “Was this her only option? Couldn’t she just move to Durham and become a dancer?”

-- Overheard by RJG

We don't make sense to anyone but our own

1L #1: I don't have time to read, outline, do hypos, eat and sleep
1L #2: I didn't read it either. lol. But you're my back up.
1L #1: Hey, don't make me FRCP 12(b(6) you!
1L #1: PS, I own Blackacre!
1L #2: Wait, I have title to Blackacre too! What the! There's something fishy going on ...
1L #1: Why don't you pull a terry and cop a feel
1L #1: I adversely possessed your boyfriend last night
[pause]
1L #2: Damn. don't think I can top that
1L #1: score one for me

-- Overheard by EN, via AIM

hopefully law school is nicer to you than this

From Post Secret: Law School Gave Me the Discipline to Perfect My Eating Disorder.

Don't mess with Texas

Con Law Prof: "This is another case granted certiorari from Texas. You know if it wasn't for Texas, we'd have nothing to talk about."
____

Explaining MPC on Murder:

1L: would that be considered intent or reckless disregard?

Crim Law prof: Typically this would be intent, but hey case this is texas and they probably bounce it down to a misdemeanor. (in deep Texas twang) Shoot what's the matter with you boy, you only shotthat sunnufabith once!

-- Overheard by francesa

Practical Issuespotting

Crim law prof: I know you're all stressed about finals, so let me just tell you this. When I was a 1L my father died the November of my first semester. And I still took all my finals.

Student: Sure, but how did you do in them?

-- Overheard by Criminellie

You're telling me

Crim law prof: "oh the things I could do with a class full of prostitutes"

Overheard by Mr. Rule 11

The guy next to me actually cares.

How to get an A in Legal Writing:

Writing Prof: It's like that joke, you know, two men are camping in the woods and a bear comes to the campsite... One guy puts on his shoes, the other guy asks "Why are you putting on your shoes? We have to run from the bear!" The guy with shoes says, "I don't have to run faster than the bear; I have to run faster than you!" So do better than the guy sitting next to you. Good luck!

A Short History Lesson

Con Law Prof: Back then it was called the Northwest Territories. Today it’s called the Big 10.

yeah for the curve?

2L: Okay, so the first part is multiple choice. This second part. Do we just do our normal law school bullshit analysis?

More Political (In)Correctness

Evidence Professor while talking about FRE 804(a)(5):
"A colleague of mine once had a Korean witness, there was a dep taken which was favorable to my colleague and right before they were about to go to trial the guy goes...

[Professor using fake "Korean" accent]: I give false deposition.

"My colleague said he just about bought him a one way ticket back to Korea, but clearly under this rule that would not work since the proponent cannot be responsible for procuring the witnesses unavailablity."

Me (to Korean friend): Wow. So offensive and yet such a good illustration of the rule.

Korean Friend: Ehh, I'm kinda suprised he didn't call all Asians "slant eyes", that wasn't that bad for him.

That's just wrong...

CrimPro Prof: "Is it long enough to purge the taint?"

Politically (In)correct

2L girl, whining about car not starting, forgetting homework, bad hair: "I'm having a bad hair day. I must be getting punished for something I've done at this point in my life, but I have no idea what that could be... I'm not even gay."

2L boy: "You are a dirty Jew, though."
____

2L girl: What was she prosecuted under?
2L boy: A Preventing Pinko statute?

____

2L girl: What are you staring at?
2L boy: A wasp.
2L girl: In here?
2L boy: No, outside.
2L girl: Wait, are you Protestant?
2L boy: Yes?
2L girl: Then I see a WASP in here, too!

Fists of Fury

Property Professor: During the Civil Rights era, there was a "frown against discrimination" campaign - if someone made a racist comment you frowned. When I was a kid, if someone called me a "chink" I punched him.

D'oh v. Wade

Con Law Prof, talking about how preganancy affects women v. men: "I mean I have three kids and believe me, sensitive male as I may be, I didn't have much to do with those nine months..."

Con Law Prof, talking about how married people can't have abortions and failure to consummate the marriage is grounds for annulment: "there are only so many days you can have a headache...we've gotta have some levity to this conversation."

Male 1L: "but only women get pregnant, i mean - i'm pretty sure i don't have a uterus"
Con Law Prof: "well, i don't know for sure but that's probably true"

-- Overheard by TEC

Meanwhile Jack McCoy gets the spotlight...

From A Guest Speaking, Practicing, Public Defender:

On Smart Clients:
"I got my client a plea deal of 8 years for kidnapping…he refused…I was like ‘you confessed, they have it on video tape, why are you going to make me go to trial and look stupid?'"

On Plea Deals:
Student: "What tactics do you use for negotiating pleas with the District Attorney?"
Attorney: "Please. Really...Please! Other times it is like, come on, you owe me one for screwing my last client"

On Trial Tactics:
Student: "How often do you put your clients on the stand?"
Attorney: "I wish I never had to put my clients on the stand"

Civ Pro Gets Sexy

Civ Pro Prof: Sexual intercourse in our state is now sufficient to establish personal jurisdiction over an individual in a paternity matter. I’ll let you go over the minimum contacts analysis in the privacy of your own homes. Now for the best part. The name of the parties: Yankton v. Cummings. I could not have come up with this stuff myself.


--overheard by Sara

Professional [Ir]Responsibility Roundup

3L: My notes say "[Blah Blah]" do you know what it means?

Prof: No.
_____________________________________________

Professor: NEVER, NEVER, get paid in Cocaine.
_____________________________________________

(After reviewing Texas PR case making it nearly impossible to sue for malpractice in criminal cases in Texas)

"Maybe you should go do criminal law in Texas...But then you'd have to go there."
_____________________________________________

(Professor having a Jack Burns in Meet The Parents Moment)

"Can you trust your clients? No, the answer is no."

Hollywood takes over law school

Upon learning about a Corporations case with a
corporate raider who wanted to take over a company and
sell it for its parts:

Girl: So is this guy like Richard Gere from Prety
Woman?

Overheard by NS

--

Prof: How should doctors decide who gets ICU beds?
Student: Well, on Grey’s Anatomy there was this episode where they gave the bed to the patient most likely to live.
Prof: How did you feel about that decision
Student: it was a really sad episode

Overheard by maleman

Older than dirt

Student: How does that relate to [case in footnote]?
Prof: Oh, I don’t know; I read that case when Grover Cleveland was in office.

Overheard by LP

Amen to that

Professor: Why are you in law school?
1L: My life would be nothing but naps if I didn't come here first every day.

Overheard by JES

Kevorkian + Dahmer

1L#1: I think we should have a culture of freedom and people should be allowed to do whatever they want, if it doesnt hurt anybody else.
Con law prof: What about cannibalism? If one person wants to be eaten is that ok?
1L#1: uhmmm....
1L#2 (to his neighbor): I don't see what the big deal is. It's like suicide, but somebody gets dinner.

Overheard by piratelaw

Depends on your definition of "nuisance"

property prof: Now 1L buys the land next to me. What would you put there that might cause a nuisance?
1L: an apartment building...and, oh what're those called?
(entire class looks at him confused)
1L (excitedly): Oh, yeah! A titty bar!

0verheard by piratelaw

Seder Day Night Live

Comments overheard at a seder hosted by one Jewish 1L and her Jewish, non-law-student (NLS) friend for eight non-Jewish 1L's

1L#1: I love the "sour cream" you sang in the last song.
1L#2: Yeah, that's something we used to do at camp.
1L#3: Wait...you guys have camps?
1L#2: Yeah, but they're not concentration camps, though.

NLS: Could you pass the water?
1L#4: It's empty.
1L#5: [1L #4] just finished it.
1L#2: yelling from the kitchen: Whoever kills it, fills it!
1L#5: That's what we used to say at necrophilia camp.

As 1L#2 and NLS watch the other eight guests run frantically around the apartment, searching for the Afikoman

1L#5: I think Afikoman is Hebrew for "laugh at the Gentiles."

Yes, it's that bad

Prof: So there's no reading for Monday but be sure to arrive fresh and eager!

Student IMing classmate: He makes it sound like a douche commercial...Oh, wait.

Well, thank goodness I'm drunk.

Property Prof: It's a wild deed. Like that E! series: Wild on the Recording System.

And we did.

K Prof: As one of my last strikes I assign Muller v. Pondir. I say read it, and suffer.

Why Does He Live By The Dorms?

1L #1: Do law school romances ever work out?
1L #2: You could always date undergrads...
1L #1: Undergrads are overrated.
1L #2: Not at all! They're fun to play with--like little windup toys with boobs.

Risky Business?

Risk Management Counselor: Caveat - that means I’m lying. Or if I lied, I didn’t mean it.

The grass is always greener

2L and college student, after college student noted 2L school's logo (complete with motto), which they put on EVERYTHING....

2L: I want to know who was sitting around and thought "Hey! '[Law school motto.]' I bet that'll reel 'em in!"

Community college student: At least your school has a motto. If my school did, I bet it'd be "Always carry a razor blade."

-- overheard by Anonymous

They don't know everything, despite best interests to assert otherwise

During an impromptu debate on intelligent design vs. evolution brought on by Establishment Clause discussion:

Con Law Prof: You can't prove Einstein's E=mc2 either....

Members of class who took physics in college: Uh..yes you can.

-- Overheard by CS

Behaving professionally

2L #1: I don't see why the Model Rules prohibit sleeping with a client.
2L #2: Eh, conflicts of interest? Good sex on one hand, not being disbarred on the other.
2L#1: But what if the sex is really good?

Yeah you know me!

Civ Pro Prof: This was brought by a person named Kroger against a company called OPP...D.

-- Overheard by TEC

Con Law I Prof, Extrordinaire (Take 1)

Con Law Prof: "the ninth amendment precedes the tenth amendment...obviously...cause it's the ninth amendment... geez, sometimes i amaze myself with my knowledge"

Con law prof talking about griswold: "no one came into a room and saw a couple having sex without a condonmin…without a condom – in a condominium."

1Ls phone rings
Con law prof: i get yelled at in so many ways!

1L: i knew a guy who got his hand cut off in a bagel machine
(laughter)
Con Law Prof: we're trying to have a serious conversation here...
1L: it was pretty serious to him!

Con Law Prof: you're all looking at me like i'm crazy. (pause) i mean, i may be, but you all don't know the half of it.

-- Overheard by TEC

Sex

Contracts I prof on meeting of the minds: It's like if you were at Griffith Park and you asked a guy for a dime bag, but he thinks you mean oral sex.

-- Overheard by Mr. Rule 11

Deposor's Q: "Are you sexually active."

Deposee's A: "No, I just lie there."

-- Overheard by LP

From a discussion on interpreting Lawrence v Texas:

1L #1: You have to take precautions to make sure they don't injure you.
1L #2: Yeah, you have to clip their little nails.
1L #1: No you have to tape up their paws. I took a class on it.
1L #3: You took a class on gerbilling?
[later]
1L #2: I can't believe you took gerbilling.
1L #1: It wasn't a class on gerbilling. There was gerbilling in the
class.

-- Overheard by BG

Crim Prof: “Guys say lots of things to get sex: 'I’m a member of an NFL team…I'll make you a star… I'll help you… I love you....'”

Crim Prof: "You’ve all fallen for that one?"

Later same class:

1L: “Well, I know that both men and women lie to get sex.”

Crim Prof interrupting: “Women don’t need to lie in order to get sex… I don’t propose any stereotypes here. Let's face it.”

All overheard by "There's No Competiton in Law School"

In a discussion of Boro v. Superior Court (a woman who was told that she had to have sexual intercourse with a donor injected with a serum that would cure her disease):

Crim Prof: What kind of sex did she think it was?

1L: Therapeutic sex

Crim Prof: …sexual healing...

Overheard by "There's No Competition in Law School"

You know what looks good on hippies? FIRE

Con Law Prof describing Scalia's concurrence in Texas v. Johnson, the flag burning case:

"This guy is an awful, disgusting hippie, but I can't do the nasty things that I want to do to him."

-- Overheard by SH

Obsess Much???

(via IM)
Obsessive 2L: he was all: "i wont be free during this week, but the weekend is lookin good"
Obsessive 2L: so we should def figure somthin out
Obsessive 2L: "catch u later man"
Obsessive 2L: mmmmmmmmmm
Obsessive 2L: "man"
Obsessive 2L: thats hot
Obsessive 2L: i cant believe he says man
Obsessive 2L: that makes me crazy

Which Authority Should I Cite?

1L: In my opinion…
Property Prof: Your opinion’s worth something to me, but the statute is probably more controlling.

A new suspect class?

From a discussion surrounding constitutional rights:

3L: "Whether they are on the shit list is not appealable"

This is why we pay tuition??

Prof: In our library, you may notice that we have entire empty shelves. These shelves cannot support the weight of paper, so they will never be filled with books.








Commentary: WTF?

Love hurts

2L: I shouldn't drink. Drinking makes me lonely. Lately, my pillow hasn't helped me. I wake up and it's behind me. Even my pillow doesn't love me.

Curiousity killed the kid

Son to Father: What's that?
Father to his son: Why do you ask so many questions? One day you're going to get SHOT asking so many questions. Stop asking questions. Do you want to get SHOT?

Random Senior Citizen speaking to random middle-aged man: Grandchildren are just our rewards for not killing our own children.

Prosecutorial Misconduct

Overheard in Advanced Criminal Procedure:

Defense-Lawyer-Turned-Professor: You can't call a witness an animal, I think that is self evident to us all

State's-Attorney-in-Training-Gunner: Only if you are a communist

Defense-Lawyer-Turned-Professor: Did you just call me a communist

State's-Attorney-in-Training-Gunner: Maybe...