So, what's new?

2L on phone: I'm taking Federal Income Tax and that's the most exciting thing in my life right now.

So that's why they teach classes on Con Law!

1L #1: And that's why the Patriot Act is unconstitutional.
1L #2: But Congress doesn't pass acts that aren't constitutional.

Overheard by JM.

Overheard Not in Law School

The scene: first and second year public health graduate students discussing the recent opening of a local Trader Joe's and their excitement over Two-Buck Chuck.

1st year: I can only drink two glasses of Two Buck Chuck. After that I start to feel sick.
2nd year: Why don't you just have two glasses and enjoy it then?
1st: Clearly you don't know me very well. I drink to get drunk.
2nd: What's wrong with having two glasses of wine?
1st: If I'm just going to have one beer, I rather skip it and not feel sick when the buzz wears off. I'd rather have five.
2nd: Oh, you binge drink.

constitutional protections

3L: I have to run. We're supposed to be watching a video in class.

2L: Oh? What about?

3L: The right to die.

2L: How appropriate for law school.

Silent Bob Speaks for the First Time

Usually very quiet 2L during discussion about whether to dress down or wear suits for simulations.

2L: Why don't we say we don't wear suits and if people want to be tools and wear suits they can be TOOLS!

It's all about Class

A hurried 1L with a ginormous backpack walks in and bumps one of the 3Ls standing in an elevator:

1L: Sorry about that...it's just so big and bulky
3L: Well better that then your ass.

What to do when STUPID gets to you...

3L: people are dumb and i want a blunt.

Yes.

Nonprofits prof: Stoned professors are better than straight professors.

Crim Pro definitions

Crim Pro Prof: If you can figure out what curtilage is, that's where you plant your pot.

Overheard by EW

Vicarious bicuriousity

1L #1: I'm so excited for the weekend! I already did the reading for Tuesday and I am all done with my memo.
1L #2: Oh my god, I hate you! I guess I have to live bi-curiously through you while you're having nothing but fun!

Overheard by AC

More reasons to go to Nevada

Con Law Prof: Nevada is a very libertarian state. If you want to build a nuclear power plant, near a bordello, with blackjack in the back, it will fly.

Overheard by Without Reason

good solution, BETTER solution

2L girl #1: I'm gonna go jogging at 6pm to relieve some tension. You want to come?
2L girl #2: No thanks. I'm gonna go have the shit fucked out of me at 7pm to relieve some tension.

Overheard by sign me up

Kids will be kids

Torts Prof: "In the past we saw cases where children were battering each other in typical child-like ways. You know, paperclips...shotguns..."

Overheard by Curable Triteness

Job Choices

2L #1: How did it go?
2L #2: [Just returning from an interview] It went fine...it's a stupid little job. Just filing. I wouldn't have to dress up or anything, but it's only $8.50 an hour.
2L #1: You could go to Wal-Mart and make $11

Fashion faux pas

3L male: How come in The Devil wears Prada, what's-her-face wears Gucci all the time?
3L female: How come you noticed?
3L male: That's not a question! That's an insult masquerading as a question!

He meant that ridiculously ugly sweater and tote bag set

Prof: “What was the offensive contact on the dog?”
1L: “You mean besides the bullet?”

Overheard by SA

Curiosity kills many kittens

legal writing prof: "I apologize for answering the question by saying, 'You'll know what to do when the time comes'... I suppose if that's all it took to satisfy human curiosity, then the porn industry probably wouldn't be so profitable."

Overheard by GL

It's also a lie

1L: Good Point
Torts Prof: Only kind I make.

Overheard by DSE

From Liberal To Conservative In The Blink Of An Eye

1L: It’s such bullshit. If you go to the White House website they have all these coloring-book photos of the Presidents. Most of them are portraits or drawings of them in the Oval Office. George W. Bush’s is him in a playground with a bunch of kids . . . Bill Clinton has his zipper down.

2L OCI Interviews #2

2L #1: Where are you interviewing?
2L #2: Lord, Bissel and Brock
2L #1: That's the firm that does half-litigation and half-vacuum manufacturing, right?