Safety First

Professor: Another safety tip along with don’t have unprotected sex with prostitutes is don’t drive a motorcycle…But if you have into an accident on one, get in an accident with a car, not a tree, so you can get No-Fault benefits.

Just My Luck

Professor: The judge wouldn't even let me speak on summary disposition. So, enraged, since I didn't like this judge to begin with, I appealed and I was going to ask the Court of Appeals that judge be disqualified. I didn't have to ask that since the judge had been promoted to the Court of Appeals.

hey baby, what's your sign?

3L describing the arbitrariness of First Amendment law: "That sign is good, that one is fine, OH GOD THAT ONE IS 3" TOO BIG!"

War and Feets

2L #1: Something in this room smells like feet. I can't figure out if it's me. This is both frustrating and paranoia-inducing.
2L #2: Eww. I hate feet. Pigeons and feet are my least favorite things in the world. Oh, and war. War is bad too.

Overheard by EN

Summer Dream Sequence

Scene: A birthday party for a co-worker/friend where rising 2L was working. She happens to sit next to a law professor.

Law Professor to rising 2L: So, what do you do?
Rising 2L: (after taking a sip of wine) Oh, I'm a law student.
Law Professor: You don't look oppressed enough to be a law student.

If You Wanted To Be Her Lover...

2L#1: We went out once. We went to the Spice Girls concert.
2L#2: Really!?! Did you tell her what you want...what you really, really want?

No Means No

At Student Organization Fair
3L #1: 3L #2, want a cookie?
3L #2: You know I can't say no!
2L: That's why she's president of Law Students 4 Choice!

3L and non-lawstudent discuss a mutual friend who wants to go to lawschool:

3L: I told him how awful lawschool is- I really hope [mutual friend] takes my advice and doesn't apply.
Non-lawstudent: Nah, he won't listen, [mutual friend] is an asshole. He deserves to go to lawschool.

It's not about fairness, It's about winning

3L: As I am arguing, what if I reference a case that wasn't in my pleadings...how is my opponent supposed to know what I am talking about?
Prof: Who cares!

Judge Mentality

Appellate Advocacy Prof: "I'm a judge. I have an Article III ego. I can be stupid, you can't"

A working definition

1L: Did you see Snakes on a Plane?
3L: Not yet.
1L: I saw it with the the 'law school couple.' You know, the unattractive pair that starts dating the first night of orientation.

she didn't mean it when she said 4 pages was cute

Appellate advocacy professor, on lengths of briefs: "This isn't a big dick contest. The longest doesn't win."

Overheard by Sal.

You just want to hang out with detective Benson

2L: How would I go about becoming a Special Victims prosecutor?
Summer boss: You have a better chance of becoming a special victim.

Overheard by CS

maybe it's time to move to Nevada...

2L: I'd like to shop for carpet, but it's illegal in most states.

I can't put my finger on that definition

2L boy: I guess I just have a conceptual problem calling Miranda a prophylactic rule, you know? I mean it seems to me Miranda really embodies the Fifth Amendment itself, rather than only protects one’s Fifth Amendment rights that are separate and distinct.

2L girl: Yeah, I know…I mean, why would the judges want to name it after something that they put up their butts? Did they not like it very much?

2L boy: what?

2L girl: You know, I mean that’s what a prophylactic is, right? Those things that people put up their butt?

2L boy: god I wish I was your boyfriend.


Overheard by Jaded J.D.

Pier 1 isn't working out

Copyright Prof: "If you do work for a large size entity like Viacom work is constantly coming in, if you work for a mid-size entity, you know like Kirsty Alley, you can have more breaks between projects."

Overheard by RR

unintended consequences

1L #1: We should compare briefs later...um, you know what I mean.
1L #2: Why do all my casual hookups turn into study groups?

Overheard by RB

Cream cheese is the great equalizer

3L: I'm just interviewing with [employer] because I need interview experience. I know that I'm better than that, and that I shouldn't be working for that kind of place.
3L#2, different school: .... YOU HAVE FOOD ON YOUR FACE.

I've never passed a Bar...

In the bookstore before the first week of classes.

1L: Well, I just really LOVE the law!
2L: Yeah, I used to, now i'm an alcoholic.

dead baby jokes?

Evidence Professor: Time for a new hypothetical, let's say i kill little mort. Little Mort is the creature who lives next door to me. He's three years old. I use him in my hypotheticals because he deserves to die.

Copyright Bounty

Copyright Prof: Acording to the RIAA we are all Pirates.
2L: ARGH!!!
Copyright Prof: Yes, ARGH! Unfortunately, we're not as sexy as Johnny Depp.

seat's taken

As 2L#1 walks into class looking for a seat...

2L#2: "2L#1, you can't sit here. you can't sit next to me. and actually, could you not sit in front of me either."

Hooray war crimes

Prominent International Law Professor: "I love war crimes tribunals. I collect tribunals like kids collect baseball cards."

So, Will Anything Be On The Final?

Legal Professions Prof: Anybody else want to pick a number from the board?

2L: 0

Legal Professions Prof: 0 is what I learned in Legal Ethics in law school . . . and I went here.

Oui...

Prof: Who in here feels like I'm speaking a foreign language?
Student from France raises hand.

Shotgun play?

Sports law professors talking about Maurice Clarett and how high school basketball players can go straight to the NBA but not NFL

Prof 1: maybe he should have practiced his shooting instead of his running.
Prof 2: i think he was in his last arrest...

At Least HE'S Telling The Truth!

Professor: A lot of law professors will tell you that there is no such thing as a bad question. (pause) Yeah, they're all full of shit.

If Elizabeth Cady Stanton played Bingo...

2Ls looking at classroom assignments
2L #1: where's our class?
2L #2: A64...i feel like i'm calling out bingo
2L #1: Binga...it's like if feminists played Bingo.

Common Sensical

Professor: We now have wireless in the classroom. You aren't allowed to use it to IM, check e-mail or search the internet. So you have access to it, but don't use it.

that's actually what brain tastes like

2L: I just burped out my nose and it tasted like potatoes.

The finer points of law school

2L: my tax prof could have amazing zoomers they may even be so bodacious that she could declare them dependants on her tax return.

somebody needs to do their shirt laundry

Legal Ethics Prof: Here's some good advice: don't walk into the bar exam smelling like marijuana. You should write that down.

Overheard by MM

You mean we're not?

re: learning to address juries

Trial Advocacy Book: Forget your legal training for a minute and try to figure out how you would act if you were a real person.

Over(read) by SunCynic

Bar Talk

Talking about a classmate at the bar:

3L #1: Does he manscape?
3L #2: No, I think he's naturally hairless
3L #3: I thought I saw some razor burn one day on his chest
The 3L Who Knows All: Yes, he manscapes. And his girlfriend shaves his back.

Class Preparation

3L #1: Is that your 3rd or 4th Beer?
3L #2: 4th!
3L #3: And don't you have your first class in an hour?
3L #2: Absolutely.

The Light's On, but the Owner is Asleep

In a Thesis Seminar on Advanced Criminal Procedure
Prof: What topic are you thinking about for your Paper?
3L: Emminent Domain
Prof: That's not really on point, but I like that you're thinking.

Kind of like ketchup?

Bankruptcy Prof: “I drink tequila because I’ve convinced myself its vegetable juice.”

Overheard by Anonymous

Don't let them smell your fear!

(Prof asks first question to a 1L)

1L: I don't know. I'm scared.


Overheard by KP

B.S. Degree

Witness: She was working on her Feces.

Partner: What was that?

Witness: You know, Feces, she was getting her Masters.

Partner: You mean "Thesis"?

Witness: Ohh, umm...yeah.

At Least Your Not Anemic

4 2L's are eating burritos at Qdoba during OCI. Three are in suits and between interviews. The fourth is in shorts and a t-shirt and not between interviews

2L#1: My interview with Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe went very well.
2L#2: Yeah, I met with them this morning. They were very friendly.
2L#3: Did either of you interview with Dewar's & Rocks? I have them next.
2L#1: No, I interview with them later tonight.
2L#4: I just ate some tin foil . . . In case any of you are wondering why I didn't get any interviews, it's because of shit like that.

You don't need both hands to read Braille.

3L: Sometimes a vibrator is very necessary.
2L: But how will you study for the bar once you go blind?

Why Law Schools Don't Have Parent's Weekend

2L#1: Will you back me up!?! Jesus!
2L#2: Jesus doesn't back up girls like you.
2L#1: That's not true. He backed up Mary Magdalene.
2L#3: And she was a whore.
2L#2: True. That's an example that Jesus backs up girls exactly like you.
2L#1's Mom: Calm down, you're getting out of line.

Tell me what you really think

Attorney 1: What do you think of the boss's new haircut?
Attorney 2: I feel like he should be stealing my car not running the office

which part of this is worse?

(via IM)

3L: oh no i think i have to crap at work.
2L: hahahaha, i'm sorry
2L: that's funny
3L: it is funny to most people but i can't do the crapping in public
3L: maybe the bathroom is empty
2L: haha, i know
2L: i only crap in empty bedrooms
2L: i mean bathrooms
2L: wow

That ice cream tastes unusual

not-L: Hey, is that an abortion clinic? (Pointing to a sign that says "Tremont Family Medical Center")
3L: No, that is the abortion clinic! (Pointing to a sign that says "Tremont Scoops")

suspect classes

Recently engaged 3L: I called this girl I went to high school with, to tell her I was getting married. (And she became a born again Christian in college.) She starts telling me about this class she took at her church with her husband, and realizing that men and women are different and how you don't really figure that out until someone tells you.

3 other 3Ls in unison: Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!

The Fact That It's Funny Makes It Less Offensive

In the elevator with 3L, on the way up to her apartment

2L#1: 3L is going to make us some pasta.
2L#2: And her food is gorgeous, I do know that.
2L#1: But how does it taste? Because I've known plenty of girls who looked gorgeous...

Sippin' on haterade

3L: yeah but i like making fun of national security
2L: national INsecurity
3L: SNAP

Maybe a Harder Career Path is in Order

2L: You want to go into Civil Rights ligitation, right?
3L: Civil Rights Defense, I want to crush the spirits of the weak
2L: That doesn’t seem like it would be much of a challenge for you, maybe you should try something a little harder

The Fact That It's Funny Makes It Less Gross

Older 2L: Listen, I've been in the business world since before any of you was even a squirt in your father's eyes.
Wiser 2L: It's a good thing none of us was a squirt in our mother's eyes because then we wouldn't be here.

God, I HATE children

Senior Trial Attorney: That groupie works for Save the Children? God, do me a favor!

--Special Court for Sierra Leone

That's just nasty

In reference to our lack of water and flushing toilets:

Senior Legal Attorney returns from restroom: I just shat on someone's shit!

--Special Court for Sierra Leone

Are You Sure You're Not American?

2:00 the day before the last final in a summer program
Italian Law Student: I am so tired. I have been studying since a quarter to seven this morning. I want to sleep, but I cannot. I must study more.
German Law Student: You can sleep tomorrow.
Italian Law Student: No, I cannot, because tomorrow I must be drunk.

America's The Best!

Discussing the "Big Ben Burger" with a German student at a pub in London
2L#1: That burger is $18 American. 2L#2, what can you get for $18 American at Steak n' Shake?
2L#2: Shit, all four of us could eat at Steak n' Shake for $18.
2L#1: And hell, three of us could have sex with the waitress.

Yet They Haven't Gotten Any Big Firm Offers

2L: Okay, I promise...no more conversations about my nuts. Except to say that my nuts are top 10% at a tier 4 law school.

Biblical Exam Directives

While the exams were being passed out for Professional Responsibility

Proctor: I know it's tempting, but don't read through the back of the paper onto the last page of the test. Keep thy x-ray vision to yourself
3L: Is that the 11th Commandment? Right after don't sleep with your clients?

I knew I should've taken latin

Gob Bluth: They're lawyers, Michael. That's latin for "liar."

Good luck!

Good luck to all recent graduates taking the bar.

Love,
Liser
(and most likely the rest of the Overheard posters, too)

while trying to deciper medical records of a plaintiff with personal injuries from a motor vehicle accident...

Articling Clerk: Umm, I'm a little confused.

First Year Associate: What does it say?

Articling Clerk: Well, it says that she got an "STI" from the collision...doesn't that stand for Sexually Transmitted Infection??? What the hell was she DOING?

First Year Associate: Wow, what else could that mean? I have no idea...

First Year Associate #2, entering office and overhearing the conversation: You guys are perverts. It stands for Soft Tissue Injury. Jeesh.

Overheard by CanadianLawStudentGoneWild

Goodbye evil book!

rising 3L: I sold my Contracts book. I think my life will get exponentially better now, kind of like it was before... You know, before that book came into my life.

my personality just makes people think I'm nuts

The scene: magistrate judge is about impose sentence on a defendant in traffic court who's been acting erratically at best, trying to sabotage her own plea agreement, and has just told the judge that the real problem is that he doesn't "understand her affect."

Judge: How long will it take you to pay the fine?
Defendant is silent.
Judge: Okay, fine, you have 60 days.
Attorney: Judge, if I may, my client is on Social Security disability and is on a fixed income.
Judge: What's the nature of the disability?
Attorney: Physical, your honor, she's had lower back sur...
Defendant (interrupting): It's a mental disability!
Judge: I can *see* that it's mental.

The truth sometimes burns

Barbri Torts Prof: Amtrack - love the service - "can I enhance the smell of urine for you sir?"

Overheard by melissa

That's how I felt the first time.

CivPro Professor: We begin with personal jurisdiction. Remember that? That's all that Pennoyer crap.

Overheard by carrie

Just like gay penguins!

Domestic Relations Professor: "Cohabitation" is a euphemism--what we're really saying is that they're living together ... and they're doin' it.

Overheard by carrie

The lines between good and bad blur in law school.

Law Student: I just found out I made Law Review, and it is actually making me question whether there is a God.
Non-law Student: Why?
Law Student: Because how is it that something that good happened to me? I'm a bad person!
Non-law Student: Well, no-one said God was fair...

Overheard by MC

Somebody really likes his vacation

Prof B: See, that's what pisses me off! If I'm on vacation, I don't want to be disturbed. I had this one ass call me on my global cell phone, drunk no less, while I was in New Zealand on vacation. Just because I give out my number doesn't mean you use it. The bastard cost me $5. I mean, I don't even care if my dad dies...don't bother me. He will still be dead when I get home. Me ruining a perfectly good getaway isn't gonna bring him back. Moral of the story: Don't bother me when I'm on vacation.
-Overheard by SA

Slip of the tongue

1L: So, when a person is in a persistent vegatative state and is on a vibrator, the law just allows people to fight it out over who lives or dies? I don't think that people should be able just to remove a vibrator from someone and leave them without it when its necessary to sustain life.

Prof Z: Um, Mr. Student, you mean ventilator, right? Not vibrator?

Overheard by SA

OOOOOO Snap!

Intern #1: So, Bush vetoed stem-cell research. I guess he just doesn't care about anyone with a disease at all.
Intern #2: Yeah, Michael J. Fox was livid about it.
Intern #1: Really? Was he shaking?
Intern #3: Oooooooooo! SNAP!

it's all about antecedents, kids

Labor attorney (getting off the phone): So they kicked him out!
Consulting attorney: I don't understand. Why would they kick a contractor out of his own office?
LA: Not the contractor! The cat!
CA: Huh?
LA: They kicked the cat out of the groomer's! Have you ever heard of such a thing?!
CA: Um, no. What cat?
LA: My cat! They're kicking him out of the groomer's and I have to go get him!
CA: Okay, I really have no idea what we're talking about. I thought we were talking about this contractor who was leaving before the contract was up? And now we're talking about...your cat?
LA: Yes.
CA: Okay, we're going to have to work on that stream of consciousness thing before we go before the judge.

No Spin Zone

Professor: [In a review session] Remember the importance of fee arrangements...
3L: Professor, Why is this...important?

Reading Your Answer in Class

Rising 3L #1: The kid is literally reading the problem out of the book word for word
Rising 3L #2: That he is
Rising 3L #1: And what's worse, he can't even do that
Rising 3L #2: Education doesnt fix stupid

Lawyers and their Toys

Partner: I'm giving up on my worthless Treo. Order me a Blackberry
Senior Associate: Ooooo...it'll be new and shiny.
Partner: Can I customize the colors on that? I'm thinking the colors of Mexico
Secretary: I'll look into it
Senior Associate: You can also have the ringtone of the Mexican Song of Independence...
Partner: Can I get it in the colors of the Mexican Flag?
Secretary: I've got nail polish and time to kill

This Post Is Not About Condoms

Two 2L's wandering through the Egypt section of the British Museum in London

2L#1, looking at a giant sculpture of a head: This is Ramses II.

2L#2: He kind of looks like Ramses VII to me.

2L#1, looking at a second giant sculpture: This one is Ramses VI. You know, you're right...they do look similar. In fact all the Ramses look the same...see, that's why you can't take me anywhere...I need to stop being racist.

Now that is friendship!

Players: Plaintiff's counsel; Defendant's counsel; Plaintiff's witness; Court Reporter

Plaintiff's counsel: I'm done.

D counsel: I'm just going to ask you a few questions.

Witness: Okay.

D Counsel: Did you discuss this deposition with anyone prior to today?

Witness: Yes, your client offered me $500.00 not to show up.

Overheard by Insolvent Esq

It must be one of those goth bars

Barbri prof: "None of you are going to commit necrophila on the bar... It's just unnatural."

Overheard by MG

One Hand in My Pocket

Crim Pro Prof: If you knew that a fellow law student had a bag of coke in their pocket would you have a legal obligation to report it?

Class: ...

Crim Pro Prof: No! Don't do that. We'd lose half of our law students.

Overheard by "There's No Competition in Law School"

All graduated and you're still not cool

Plaintiff's atty #1, closing arguments: Tip the scales of justice here people. Tip all the evidence that this death was accidental (leans whole body over to the left) against all the evidence that it's suicide (leans a tiny bit to the right, but still hangs left) . Clearly my client wins, if you just look at the scale.

Defense atty #1 (whispered): What a goddamn tool. Douchebag.

Lather, rinse, repeat

Prosecutor: Look, your client can plead, that's not a problem. But there's a mandatory loss of license for a year on this charge.
Defense counsel: We can't do a 6 month suspension instead?
Prosecutor: No. There's a mandatory minimum.
Defense counsel: What about the fine?
Prosecutor: We're going to recommend the minimum, no problems there.
Defense counsel: So the fine plus a 6 month suspension.
Prosecutor: What part of mandatory minimum do you not understand?
Defense counsel: I thought this was a plea negotiation.
Prosecutor: And if he pleads, he loses his license for a year.
Defense counsel: But why not six months?
Prosecutor: I give up.

Sorry Your Honor, But My Grandmother Died...Again.

Ethics Prof: Don't tell the same judge each time you need a continuance that your grandmother died. If you need to get more time, just give him the names of different people.

Overheard Goes Abroad...

Summer Associate: So will the Czech's riot after the game?
Czech Associate: No. That's really more of a French thing.
***
Czech Associate: No, he's not gay, he's just British.
***
British Associate: You can't be American. You're not fat enough.
***
Unknown Nationality Associate: I fucking hate Italians. No, seriously, I want to physically injure them.

License to Fondle?

Legal Intern after discussing a case of a chiropractor losing license for massaging the vaginas of four clients:
"How do you do that? I'm sorry miss, but your vagina is out of alignment; I can fix that."

Clients After Law School

Ethics Professor on Advising Clients: Maybe you have lost touch with normal people while you've been in law school. When you get into practice, let's face it, many of your clients are going to be really, really stupid.

It's too late to stop now!

Barbri Torts Prof: "If you're using drugs, don't stop between now and the bar - wait until August, and then find a program."

Overheard by Melissa

It's a room full of love too!

Torts Professor (on battery): "Pretend I went up and down the aisles here, saying hi to each of you, and as I did that, I stroked your hair. That's a room full of battery. We don't pet each other, it's not normal."

Overheard by Carrie

An accidental mini PR lesson

While reading the instructions before a Property exam

Proctor: If you're gonna cheat, be smart. Don't let me catch you.

Overheard by Matt

Lexis hasn't added that feature yet

Att. 1: What are you wroking on?
Att. 2: A speech for the representative.
Att. 1: What is that?
Att. 2: The Holy Roman Bible. He wants to quote scripture for a church speech on juvenile justice reform and community building. I just threw in a scripture from Isiah.
Att. 1: Did you shepardize that?

Overheard by GP

Paralegals: What would we do without them?

Head Attorney to Paralegal: What's my cell phone number?
Paralegal: Just one second....(states number)

a very important conversation

rising 3L: Golden showers are gross. I would never want somebody to pee on me.
rising 2L: No shit!
rising 3L: DEFINITELY no shit!

I like this law school better than mine

Crim Prof: "Who here is still using drugs while they are in law school?"

Prof raises his hand but no one in the class does.

Crim Prof: "Come on, I know someone does. My first year here I used to know a lot of students who were smoking pot while they were in school. (pause) I was selling them the pot."

Overheard by There's No Competition in Law School

I have a headache

Professor: They read the suspect his Miranda rights, ask if they can question him, and the suspect replies with "Not right now." Is that an unambiguous invocation of his Miranda rights?

Class: silence

Professor: Come on, guys! It's clear! I mean, if this was an issue about sex, what would it mean? "Feel like sex?" "Not right now!" No! It means no!

-- Overheard by AT

I've got fleas?

Non-law student: I've only gotten fleas twice in my life.

Raising 2L: Really, when?

Non-law student: Once when I was in Fiji with the Peacecorps and the other time was when I lived with you.

Maybe I have hope yet!

while in Crim Law barbri class...

post-3L: "What does Larceny mean?"

-- Overheard by DEV

You couldn't play nice, could you?

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA
ORLANDO DIVISION
AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC.,
d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,
Plaintiff,
-vs- Case No. 6:05-cv-1430-Orl-31JGG
(Consolidated)
WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE
COMPANY,
Defendant.
______________________________________
ORDER
This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff’s Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.


PDF here. Hat tip: Feministe

Why Law Students Are Not Comedians: Exhibit A

Recent Law School Grad, now Lawyer: Oh, crap! The sole off of my heel came off. Now I'm going to have to take the sole off the other heel so I'm not walking around all lopsided.

Smart-ass 3L: Oh, cool! So your shoes will be "Lawyer Shoes!"

Recent Law School Grad, now Lawyer: (pause) How do you figure?

Smart-ass 3L: Well, your shoes won't have any soles. And lawyers don't have any souls, either. So now you match.

Recent Law School Grad, now Lawyer: Until then, I had no idea how unfunny you really are.

Golden Arches

Associate: Tomorrow I'm meeting that witness for lunch...At her trailer.

Summer: Ohhh? Is she making you fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches or roadkill?

Associate: Very funny. She wants to go to the McDonald's by her trailer.

First Amendment Protections by Durex

At a free speech symposium:

Law Prof: "We need to have a place where people can go at it, in a hot and heavy way, to the edge of reason..."

3L: "Is he talking about free speech or a one night stand?"

It's all we can do...

Finals Proctor: When time is called, you can stop trying...wait, no...stop typing. You should always keep trying.

The proverbial long ride...

Bitchy proctor for final exam: If you have computer problems, don't panic. We'll take care of you. Don't ask how. You'll find out.

The correct answer is "no."

2L: I do not understand the value depriciation in a lease.
Professor: Well have you ever bought a new car?
2L: Yes.
Prof: What kind?
2L: Jeep Cherokee.
Prof: How much did you pay for it?
2L: I do not know my mom bought it for me used...
-- Overheard by KK

Another disincentive to crime...

Meanwhile in Election law

Talking about reasons why some states take the right to vote away from felons...

Election law prof: "Yeah. Because we all know that when Bob is thinking about robbing that Bank losing his vote is one of the factors."