Feisty again today

Crim Pro Prof: "What should a reasonable crack possesser answer when the officer can feel the rock during a Terry frisk? That's easy. 'It's a gumball!'"

---
2L: "Doesn't all of this seem totally freaky and Orwellian, all Big Brother is watching you?"
Crim Pro Prof: "No shit!"

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2L (the same as above): "I don't understand how a gamma ray machine or whatever could ever replace a pooch. I mean an officer can say it does, but it's still not a pooch."
Crim Pro Prof: "So the gamma ray machine doesn't lick your hand, so what?"

There Goes Your A

Bald Prof: 1L #1, I’d just like to say I like your hat. I have nothing else for you, but that’s a fine looking hat.

1L #1: Thank you.

Bald Prof: 1L #2, you’re not wearing a hat, so I can’t compliment you on it…I’ll have to ask you a few questions instead.

1L #2: I do have nice hair…you could compliment me on that.

Bald Prof: That is the most insensitive thing anyone has ever said to me!

On Trial Strategy...

Trial Advocacy Prof: "Let me tell you what I would do...no...let me tell you what an attorney with a normal ego would do..."

The right to remain silent...

Trial Advocacy Prof: "You have the 5th amendment right to remain silent, at least for the next couple of days. That is until they change it to be a violation of the Patriot Act."

oooh! that's way better than a contingent fee!

I gotta get me one of these.

Hat tip: Majikthise

law students at lunch

2L: Oh, you got Cheetos. Those look really yummy.

1L: Yeah, I went up to the vending machine thinking I wanted chocolate, but then I saw Cheetos and thought "I must have partially hydrogenated soybean oil!"

perhaps these comments are related?

Guy #1: So [friend] was trying to tape that girl he's been seeing naked, so he left his web cam on. The only thing on it is her yelling "Why is the fucking red light on? Are you taping me, you pervert?!"

Guy #2: Dude, that's so funny. I wanna try that.

Guy #1: Yeah, well, he tried it with a law student. Don't try it with one of those girls. They'll, like, sue you or something.

Several minutes pass...

Guy #2: I'm still mad about our grades on that exam.

Guy #1: Me too! I can't believe we were dead last.

Bolstering the Witness???

*After pulling a chair out for girl returning to class from using the restroom*
Evidence Prof (aside): Teacher of the Year!

Show us your ...

2L#1 (male): [2L#2 (female)], I would have expected you to be wearing way more beads than you are right now.
2L#3 (female): If I had a dollar for every time I've seen [2L#2]'s boobs...
2L#1: Well technically I've never seen them; the lights were off...
2L#2: Now now, those were my shoulder blades. Try to tell the difference next time, ok?

What a future awaits!

Prof (talking about Anna Nicole Smith's appearance before the Supreme Court): So she marries this guy and he's like 96 or something. But you know what? He used to be a law professor. So there's something for me to look forward to!

Serious material defects

Discussing a hypothetical in which Nicolas Cage buys a $450,000 car:

Writing Prof: "A $500 part on a $450K car? You're going to renig because of a $500 part? Suck it up and deal, Nicolas Cage!"

and later in the same class:

Writing Prof: Before you finish that contract, you must put in a clause that assures you that Nic Cage was not stoned when he agreed to buy the car.

BA Faux Pas

Corporations Prof: "So, this was a tough issue. You can see the Delaware court was groping with a way around the 'business purpose' rule. Groping? Did I say groping? I meant grappling..."

Overheard by Grace

Menagerie

From a 1L Criminal Law class, discussing a dog-mauling case:

Prof: "There was even evidence which suggested that the defendants had a sexual relationship with the dogs in question...and that they had an adoptive son...who may also have been involved in that particular menage. Or, if you like, menagerie."

Overheard by kommishoner

Overheard at Quinnipiac University School of Law

Property Professor trying to get the class to tell him the history of the U.S.

Property Professor: Ok so the English came over, and then what happened?
Class: Silent
Property Professor: Who has been to Williamsburg?
Property Professor: Ahhh yes Mr. 1L!
1L: Oh, I was just raising my hand to say that yes, I've been to Williamsburg.

Property Professor: Oooookkkkaaayyy. Well, did you learn anything while you were there?

1L: No, I didn't actually.

Property Professor: Ooooookkkkkaaay.

1L: I really mostly golfed and ate pancakes.

Overheard by SR

History degrees ARE useless

International law class, the Professor calls on a student to give the facts of a late 1940's, early 1950's case:

ILP: What was important going on at this time?

Student: Oh, there was some war.

ILP: Some war?

Student: Yea, some war... Oooooh, World War II.

-- Overheard by lawbrat

We're Better than Jesus

Overheard in lawyering class:

"I don't know why our client hides things from us. We're like his priests, except we can actually fix things."

-- Overheard by FYKL

We'll All Get Through This Together

1L: Uhh…umm…uhh…

Crim Law Prof: Come on, just say something, so we can all make fun of you and move on.

Alito and...

Professor: Maybe the right-to-die issues are just a bit closer to where the Supreme Court Justices sit than abortion or homosexual sodomy. Well, maybe not closer than homosexual sodomy.

Think first, speak later

While discussing the ethics of lying to the Unabomber in order to obtain apsychiatric analysis against his direction...

PR Prof: "I feel like I could write some futuristic novel where this is our hero, the Unabomber... I haven't exactly thought out the screenplay."

-- Overheard by livinginthelaw

The real reason for Spring Break

Civ Pro Prof: This is so out of character for me, but I'm actually going onvacation over Spring Break. Usually I just stay here and feel sorry for myself,then when you all get back, I call on people with tans.
-- Overheard by Chutch (please welcome said author as the 1st of 3 new permanent posters!)