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Professor: “Do you really think Ebeneezer Scrooge gives gifts to people?”
Student: “Well, he did at the end.”
Professor: “Screw you. Don’t fight my hypo.”

Professor: (referring to practice of parties holding fire rods, and whoever held the longest won the contract suit): “It’s a wonderful institution and it caused a lot of people to have burned hands. You might get Blackacre, but you’ll be called Stumpie for the rest of your life.”

Submitted by Anonymous