Friday, October 14, 2005

Na na ni na nah!

BA Prof: Estoppel is great, because it's like getting to run over and put duct tape on your opponent's mouth. All they can do is go, "urrrr!"

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Stereotypes, shmereotypes

Crim Law & Psych prof: Women in this class know that if it has testicles or tires, they're going to have trouble with it.

Potty mouth

While illustrating how swearing is indicative of a violent attack:

Crim Law & Psych prof: A man says, "I am going to cut off her hands and shove them down her MOTHERFUCKING THROAT!" Now, that's a clue, [student].

It says what, where?

Crim Law & Psych prof: A forensic pathologist shared this story with me, and it is my favorite tattoo story. A man had a tattoo of "Your Name" on his penis! Now, you may be wondering why he'd do this: He'd take a woman out for drinks and after she's had a few, he'd tell her, "I bet I have "your name" written on my penis." Now, I see a few of you want to go and get this done, but could you at least wait until 7:30?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Learning Critical thinking

Torts prof: Would the jury have to find they met the standard of care?
Student: Yes.
Torts Prof: On the other hand, you might answer..?
Student: No.
Torts Prof: and you would be correct.

Gunned down

(crazed contracts prof in response to resident gunner's answer)
"Old weathervane, you've served us well- you're pointing in the wrong direction again."

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

west coast love

1L chick: "I seem to attract gay crushes. Remember the guy in Boston? We couldn't decide if he was gay or just from California."

Fashion Advice

(While discussing double-breasted construction fnions)

Labor prof: Does anybody remember double breasted suits? Yeah, I was just having a fashion flash and had this GOD AM I OLD moment...

Monday, October 10, 2005

Comforting Words

1L: Law school is just so tedious.
2L: Don’t worry. The tediousness goes away once they kill your soul.

I hope you washed your hands.

Disgruntled 2L: You have to have a lawyer simply to go to the bathroom these days.
2L with high aspirations: And I’ll be right there to hold it.

I hope you washed your hands.

Disgruntled 2L: You have to have a lawyer simply to go to the bathroom these days.
2L with high aspirations: And I’ll be right there to hold it.

More fun in FPS!

(Exercise in which somebody had to shake hands without going over the imaginary line)

FPS Prof: So what did you do to solve this problem?
2L Chick: I stuck my hands in my pockets, you know, so he'd reach over and try to take them out of my pockets... I dominated him.

Fun in FPS!

FPS Prof: So how did you solve the problem?
2L Guy: Well, I didn't really have a vested interest in winning, so I just sort of conceded.
2L Chick: Wait, what? You're sort of conceited?

Strippers for Fall Ball '06!

2L dude: I thought the DJ was horrible.
2L chick: I mean, for $700 I would at least expect the mixing to be decent.
2L chick #2: I could do so much more as a DJ for $700, at least pick some good songs or something.
Sex-crazed 2L chick: For $700 you could get a couple of male strippers! That'd be way better than a DJ, unless you needed music for your party.

on pain and paralysis

Admin prof: "Eldridge talks a lot about back pain and how this matters to his denial of disability benefits. Has anyone experienced back pain?"
3L: "I was paralyzed."

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Scene: Bruegger's, Sunday morning

Well Dressed 2L: "Hey, how's it going?"
Jeans and Sweatshirt 2L: "Going well. How's the job hunt?"
WD 2L: "Going all right. Still have some more interviews and applications to deal with."
JS 2L: "Oh, you're all dressed up. Who are you interviewing with today?"
WD 2L: "Um, I'm going to church."