Na na ni na nah!

BA Prof: Estoppel is great, because it's like getting to run over and put duct tape on your opponent's mouth. All they can do is go, "urrrr!"

Stereotypes, shmereotypes

Crim Law & Psych prof: Women in this class know that if it has testicles or tires, they're going to have trouble with it.

Potty mouth

While illustrating how swearing is indicative of a violent attack:

Crim Law & Psych prof: A man says, "I am going to cut off her hands and shove them down her MOTHERFUCKING THROAT!" Now, that's a clue, [student].

It says what, where?

Crim Law & Psych prof: A forensic pathologist shared this story with me, and it is my favorite tattoo story. A man had a tattoo of "Your Name" on his penis! Now, you may be wondering why he'd do this: He'd take a woman out for drinks and after she's had a few, he'd tell her, "I bet I have "your name" written on my penis." Now, I see a few of you want to go and get this done, but could you at least wait until 7:30?

Learning Critical thinking

Torts prof: Would the jury have to find they met the standard of care?
Student: Yes.
Torts Prof: On the other hand, you might answer..?
Student: No.
Torts Prof: and you would be correct.

Gunned down

(crazed contracts prof in response to resident gunner's answer)
"Old weathervane, you've served us well- you're pointing in the wrong direction again."

west coast love

1L chick: "I seem to attract gay crushes. Remember the guy in Boston? We couldn't decide if he was gay or just from California."

Fashion Advice

(While discussing double-breasted construction fnions)

Labor prof: Does anybody remember double breasted suits? Yeah, I was just having a fashion flash and had this GOD AM I OLD moment...

Comforting Words

1L: Law school is just so tedious.
2L: Don’t worry. The tediousness goes away once they kill your soul.

I hope you washed your hands.

Disgruntled 2L: You have to have a lawyer simply to go to the bathroom these days.
2L with high aspirations: And I’ll be right there to hold it.

I hope you washed your hands.

Disgruntled 2L: You have to have a lawyer simply to go to the bathroom these days.
2L with high aspirations: And I’ll be right there to hold it.

More fun in FPS!

(Exercise in which somebody had to shake hands without going over the imaginary line)

FPS Prof: So what did you do to solve this problem?
2L Chick: I stuck my hands in my pockets, you know, so he'd reach over and try to take them out of my pockets... I dominated him.

Fun in FPS!

FPS Prof: So how did you solve the problem?
2L Guy: Well, I didn't really have a vested interest in winning, so I just sort of conceded.
2L Chick: Wait, what? You're sort of conceited?

Strippers for Fall Ball '06!

2L dude: I thought the DJ was horrible.
2L chick: I mean, for $700 I would at least expect the mixing to be decent.
2L chick #2: I could do so much more as a DJ for $700, at least pick some good songs or something.
Sex-crazed 2L chick: For $700 you could get a couple of male strippers! That'd be way better than a DJ, unless you needed music for your party.

on pain and paralysis

Admin prof: "Eldridge talks a lot about back pain and how this matters to his denial of disability benefits. Has anyone experienced back pain?"
3L: "I was paralyzed."

The Scene: Bruegger's, Sunday morning

Well Dressed 2L: "Hey, how's it going?"
Jeans and Sweatshirt 2L: "Going well. How's the job hunt?"
WD 2L: "Going all right. Still have some more interviews and applications to deal with."
JS 2L: "Oh, you're all dressed up. Who are you interviewing with today?"
WD 2L: "Um, I'm going to church."