Thursday, March 30, 2006

I bet he made a lot of money in private practice.

Prof: "The IRS doesn't play fair. [someone gives prof a dirty look] What Mr. 2L? Did you used to work for the IRS?
2L: "No."
Prof: "Wrong. We ALL work for the IRS."

We Don't Look THAT Bad

During the week all of the 1Ls are to give their oral arguments...

Contracts Prof: You people look tired. I'm doing a lot of the work that you should be doing... but you all look so pitiful.

Con Law 3:16

Con Law Prof: 1L #1, when does the Pope believe life begins?
1L #1: At conception.
Con Law Prof: When does Pat Robertson believe life begins?
1L #1: Uhh…Pat Robertson?
Con Law Prof: Sorry. When do televangelists believe a fetus is human?
1L #2: When it starts to donate money.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Class can blow me

1L: [2L girl], go to class.
2L boy #1: Seriously, [2L girl], stop being such a cocksucker and go to class.
2L boy #2: Let's be honest here, whether she's a cocksucker is not dependent on whether she goes to class. She can still be a cocksucker and go to class.
2L girl: Do you all hate me?

Well, that's one way to look at it...

The scene: professional responsibility class discussing inadvertent disclosure of confidential information.

Prof: So, who would read the e-mail anyway?

2L raises hand.

Prof: Yes?

2L: It's like reading the tube of toothpaste while you're sitting on the toilet. You read it because it's there.

Oh, no you didn't

Civ Pro Prof: Let's skip the facts of this case because no one cares about Boston
Class: Aw
Civ Pro Prof: Seriously, can anyone name one song by Boston?
Student: More than a feelin'
Civ Pro Prof: Ok, someone really does like Boston.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Stress Relief?

1L on IM: i think i need a f&@# buddy. if i get one i'll do better in school.

Do as I say, not as I do?

After one student's first-ever opening statements:

Trial Ad Prof: "You should really do it like we discussed."

2L: "How does that end up working for you?"

Trial Ad Prof: "The good news is that I am rarely held in contempt"

Setting the Mood

Civ Pro Professor: So do they have jurisdiction
1L: Maybe
Civ Pro: Yeah its due process… lets light a candle and think about it.

A common misconception

Property Professor: "Say you are in a joint tenancy with one other person. How can you sever the tenancy?"
1L: "Kill the other person."

-- All overheard by "There's No Competition in Law School"

Sometimes talking in class goes wrong.

Property Professor: "So why do we allow divorce? Why isn't marriage a ironclad contract that cannot be broken?"

1L #1: "Well, this probably isn't the right answer, but if we didn't allow divorce, a lot of lawyers would be out of a job."

Property Professor: "You're right. That's not the right answer."

-- Overheard by "There's No Competition in Law School"

No, I guess you didn't

1L: I'm sorry to keep going on this topic, but...
Property Prof: I didn't have to call on you.

A New Take on Erie

Civ Pro Prof: If this were an abstract philosophy class, we could just smoke a little and figure it out.

What the professor learned while in practice...

Biz orgs prof: "Good lawyers always make sure they don't go to jail ... by 'they' i mean the lawyer, not necessary the client."

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Civ Pro Prof: We’d love to have some sort of majority, but once again we’ve got Stevens over here saying, ‘I like these four, I like these hug.’”

--overheard by Sara

On Kelo

Civ Pro prof, to a 1L defending Kelo: "I think you seriously overestimate the honesty of local governments."

Jurors and the media

Civ Pro Prof: They (jurors) all want to write a book that will sell for three days until we all figure out we don't care what these people think.

Monday, March 27, 2006

My Cousin Adolf.

Torts Prof: You think, wait a second, a video game is tangible. I can go to a store and pick up Kill Them All version 7. I have a cousin who can kill millions of people in a comparatively short amount of time.

this fits in the definition of 'really shady people'

Con Law prof: If you went to a Red Light District, what might you find?
2L: Hookers?

Thank God for Lawrence v. Texas

(via IM)
2L#1: Holy crap I think my eyes just cme out of my skull.
2L#1: No you may not fuck my eye holes
2L#1: So don't ask
2L#2: I've been more into ears lately
2L#2: Aural sex pwns
2L#1: mmm aural sex... you can hear it coming.

It's true. He should.

PR Prof: Everybody turn to page 391. I think this guy (Abraham Sofaer) should be indicted for a really bad combover.

Tell It Like It Is

Bankruptcy Prof: The short description of this course... is that it's about losers.

Not so good with numbers.

PR Prof: What rule are we under?
2L: Rule 1.7.
PR Prof: No. Not 1.7. Not 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4, 1.5... 1.6, 1.7 or 1.8.
2L: Still on 1.9?
PR Prof: No!
2L: 1.11?
PR Prof: NO!!!
2L: 1.10?

This person is probably on law review

L3: We're going to hold a referendum on this matter.
L1: Why don't we just have a vote?
Same meeting, 10 minutes later...
L2: So, we'll have a town hall meeting next week.
Same L1: Cool! I'll call and organize the buses to get the students there!

-- Overheard by JPR

To the point

Property Prof: Mr. 1L, what is the defendant's problem?
1L: Uh...the plaintiff sued him?

-- Overheard by Alternative Twiggy

We all know that guy

A student coughed all the way through the first half of class. After the break, right before the professor starting speaking again, she ran from the room.
Contracts Prof: "Good riddance........just kidding."
She walks back in with a Coke.
Contracts Prof.: "Oh, this was for a coke?"
1L: "I have a cough."
Contracts Prof: "Oh? I hadn't noticed. <> You ought to stop smoking."

Horrifed look by student....

Contracts Prof: "Oh, you DO smoke? Oh, I'm sure there's NO connection."

-- Overheard by blondelaw from

We do have expression problems...

Female 2L #1: So I was out last night and this guy that I know who is engaged was hitting on me. Now I think my friends are pissed off at me.

Female 2L #2: They always blame the flirtee and never the flirtor.

Female 2L #1: Flirtee and Flirtor? You are definitely in law school.

submitted by hko.

Better question, why is there a Scalia picture in his locker

Conversation between two 3L's after 3L guy showed 3L girl a picture of Scalia taped in his locker.
3L guy: Scalia is coming to town to speak at the cathedral. I hope I'll get to meet him.
3L girl: You must be super excited to meet your favorite Supreme Court Justice?
3L guy: He isn't my favorite.
3L girl: He isn't? Then who is?
3L guy: John Roberts...He's like the Lebron James of the Supreme Court.

-- Overheard by MP