Saturday, January 28, 2006

Grabbag of Quotes

Girl in Professional Responsibility mocking my position that I would use 1.6 (c) (3) and (4) to disclose his clients HIV Positive Status to his girlfriend who was paying his legal bills: "What are you supposed to be Captain Save the world?"

Professional Responsibility Prof:
"Always do not get paid in Cocaine!"

Evidence Prof:
"If you were caught in a known drug house, with 135 packets of cocaine on the table in front of you, a razor with cocaine on it, a scale, a gun, and $2500 in cash would you want to talk about the evidence?"

Thursday, January 26, 2006

this is why I became a prof

Prof (talking about trial tactics): “I haven’t tried a case in 30 years. Some of my clients are still in Leavenworth. They don’t think much of my trial tactics.”

Does Brooks Bros. carry those?

Prof: The Admiralty cases have to be brought in federal court. And you have to wear epaulets when you bring them.

Your liberal is showing, Professor...

When talking about Scalia's opinion rejecting the idea that a thermoimagery scan is not an illegal search:

Prof: He really gets off on this reasoning, it's so Scalia-ish of him...The lady of the house might be taking her bath and we'd be able to know about it. He's such a gallant son of a bitch.

Politics in class

Prof: A poll? You want to know people's opinions from a poll? A poll isn't reliable - take Osama Bin Laden. The poll says Bush is in trouble? There he is, making another tape! Then look what happens in a poll.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Diversity is important

Con Law Professor: So law schools used to say, "It's ok if they are Jewish, long as they are not too Jewish."

Student: I think they still do that here.

Con Law Professor: Well, normally its phrased a little more delicately than that.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

somehow, undergrad sounds like law school...

Big Sister 2L: so how are things are school?
Little Sister: my friends seem to be going nuts. it's j-term, so everyone has lots of free time.
Big Sister 2L: ah.
Little Sister: this means that everyone just takes turns being the bullion cubes in the drama soup.

Last Time I Checked

Professor to 1L: "Is it Mr. or Mrs. [student's last name]?"
Student: "It's Mr... well at least for today"

Law students are not renowned for their geography skills.

Constitutional Law professor: The Japanese had established naval dominance over the Pacific. (pause) For those of you not keen on geography, California borders the Pacific.
Submitted by The BLS

It Didn't Help

(Property Prof drops his overheads of his lecture notes all over the floor.)
Prof: NOW we’ll have an interesting lecture!
Submitted by Anonymous #2

On 1L grades...

Contracts prof: I'm perfectly willing to talk to you about your grades, but I have a Kleenex policy in my office. That is, I don't keep any in my office, so if you're going to be crying, bring your own.

Civ Pro prof: I suggest you talk to all of your professors about your grades. You can just walk down the hall and knock on doors and say, "Okay, now YOU tell me why I suck."

Submitted by Anonymous

The meeting of the minds happened in a dark alley...

Non-Profits Professor: A mugging is not a market exchange. Except, I suppose if the mugger says, ‘Your money or your life.’

Monday, January 23, 2006

I got your equity right here pal.

Prof: What are some arguments against allowing companies to disclose material non-public information to institutional investors?

2L: Because it would give institutional investors more information that regular investors.

Prof: So, what it is that like a "fairness" argument? Eww. You know I'm in a good mood because the Steelers won, but you're testing my patience here.

Presumptively High?

Evidence Professor (pausing while writing on board about "presumption"): Smells nice. (sniffs pen again) That's pretty good.

Maybe you should call your mother sometime?

PR Prof: (taking attendance) The [student last name] brothers?
2L with last name #1: (salutes the other 2L with the same last name)
2L with last name #2: Here.
PR Prof: How's mama Mabel [last name]?
2L with last name #2: She's good.
PR Prof: But she's DEAD!

This is why we can't take law students anywhere.

The BLS: Hey, you're in my seat!

Student: Well, yeah, but I have a possessory interest in this seat.

The BLS: Yeah? Well, I have a title to this seat, evidenced by the professor's seating chart. That trumps your possessory interest.

Student: Yeah, but...

Student #2: (interrupting) And this is why law students are only friends with other law students.

Submitted by The Bitter Law Student