Saturday, December 10, 2005

Isn't That Every Firm?

Woman #1: He works at a law firm...the name of which I can't remember.
Woman #2: Oh, Dead Guy, Dead Guy, Dying Guy, and Never There Guy...LLC.

(Appropriated from Our Inspiration)

Friday, December 09, 2005

Overheard in a bar while procrastinating

The scene: women's restroom in a popular law school hangout bar. Two sets of feet are visible in handicapped stall.

Voice from handicapped stall: "Hold still! I'm trying to pick something out of your ass!"

On picking classes for next semester

2L: I decided to take Prof. X's class. He's a bad person, but at least he's a good teacher.

Except for the gunners here

(large square drawn on the board represents Blackacre)
Property Prof: You have to have a functional outline. So, here's your outline (draws another large square on board)...which looks a lot like Blackacre... because they're not drawn to scale.

Office Hour

Prof: Don't get too stressed out!
Student: Ha!
Prof: I guess I'm not the right person to say that.
Student: Hmph.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Vindication Through Evaluation

Disgruntled 2L: Have you done the course evaluation yet?
The "Reasonable Person": Not yet.
Disgruntled 2L: Well do it, and take time doing it, cause she needs a new asshole.

To Work or Study During Exams?

The 2L Student: I've stopped working until after finals, I'm not as loyal as you

The 2L Worker: I'm a slave to the paycheck, I've got shit to buy, and classes to flunk

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Overheard on the street

So what if it's on the street?

Scenester/hipster girl: What's more emo, eating a lot when you're depressed or starving yourself? At least if you starve yourself, you'll fit in your clothes!

Oh Finals. You melt brains.

2L: There aren't any news stories that make you feel good.
2L #2: If you want to feel good, watch Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. I'm like "Ha ha, you're gay and you're straight and can't dress well!"

Monday, December 05, 2005

We need a sign?

Finals fun, part whatever number we're on

2L #1 (on the phone): Hey, I have an Evidence question for you. Can we use 404(b) in civil cases?
(Pause) Mmhmm, you think? Hurry up, Regis is going to tell me to get of the phone.
2L #2: If she doesn't know, we can poll the audience.
2L #1: (on the phone) That's just the $200 question. You should see the one for a million -- I have to redraft the Federal Rules of Evidence.

you know when ur in the right study group...

1L1 (white): nerdery meets here! Only 2 white people allowed.
1L2 (white): and those two white people are us!
1L1 (white): you know you're in the right study group when the whites are the minority, we got ourselves some indians and a korean :)

Of Torts and Food

Torts professor @ 9:25am on a Tuesday morning: "I don't expect a nail in my twinkie."

It's Monday; time for Prof N!

Prof N: Don’t tell anyone we just talked about rules in this class, ’cause you can’t.

Prof N, after a student ended her answer with the word “maybe”: You can’t get rid of a bad answer just by putting ‘maybe’ at the end.

Prof N, justifying his life: A pretty high percentage of great writers have also been great drinkers.

Prof N, in re: Joseph Martin Deli v. Schumacher: You can make more money with porn than you can with corned beef.

Prof N: If you don’t have any questions about mistake…then you really haven’t followed me. But I don’t have many answers either.

-- Submitted by TI

Sunday, December 04, 2005

How to study the right way

A first year study group, overheard in the student lounge
1L1: Im so tired
1L2: Have some of my red bull [hands her the Red Bull can]
1L1: [After taking a sip] What's in that vodka?!?!?!!
1L2: Yeah! It's so good...

Submitted by:
The Namby Pamby

1L Tomfoolery

1L (raising hand eagerly to give his opinion on a case): "We're talking about a court of law, not the Jerry Springer show!"
Prof: "Okay . . . complete the thought . . ."
1L: "Oh, sorry, I really didn't have a complete thought."

Prof (talking about whether a hypothetical diamond ring was lost or mislaid): "C'mon people, valuable things are almost always mislaid. It's not like this diamond ring fell out of somebody's pocket! I mean, who puts a diamond ring in their pocket?"
1L: "Well, was it found at a bar?"

-- Submitted by De Novo

Finals time quote-stravaganza!

Quotes from BA Prof extrordinaire:

Prof: North Korea doesn’t manufacture anything but trouble.

Prof: The seminal case in this instance, if that’s still a permissible word to use these days…”

Prof: I’ll give you a story of an idiot; someone I know very well—myself.

Prof: Generally on exams, I just give points for good things you say, rather than taking away points for mistakes—-unless sometimes I think, 'whoah, this person is dangerous.'

-- Submitted by TI

bitterness can be so sweet

Shamelessly stolen (once again) from Post Secret.

I'm glad you failed the bar exam.

Boys will be boys...

Boy 2L: Is this "Maid in Manhattan"?
2nd Boy 2L: No, it's "Wedding Planner".
Girl 2L: What the fuck?