maybe you can still get carded?

Wills and Trusts Prof: I have a former student who's been practicing estate planning for...well, I don't want to say how long, because I don't really want to admit how long I've been teaching. Okay, we'll say she's been in practice a very long time. And I've been teaching since I was 10.

How to write a brief

2L: I wrote more than was required
Professor: That's the kiss of death
2L: Well I wanted to address everything so you had a good feel of what I was arguing
Professor: I just hope that it doesn't burn my eyes

stop right there!

3L #1 (responding to quite possibly the most ridiculous comment made all semester long): Just stop. You're not even allowed to make that argument.

2L (under breath): It's not like telling her to stop has ever worked before.

3L #2: It's like watching Romeo and Juliet. Every time you see the end, you're hoping it'll be different. But it never is.

The Fourth Amendment According to Nino

3L #1: But if he was walking in the curtilage of his house, then he has a reasonable expectation of privacy!

3L #2: This is the ghetto, there is no curtilage, thus no reasonable expectation of privacy. Didn't you get the memo from Scalia?

hard out here for a pimp

2L guy (trying to recruit other students to a professional singles event): Are you single?
3L girl #1: What are you, a pimp or something?
2L guy: Are you looking for a pimp? Are you a prostitute?
3L girl #2: You don't want to send her out to be your prostitute. You'd wind up with nothing but a string of dead johns.

Biggest Zit EVER!

2L: I don't think pregnancy changes your life forever. You're pregnant for nine months, but that's it.
3L: It's not like a long term zit!

A different kind of traffic jam...

Gender and Law class - discussing how condoms could be banned under the Commerce Clause.
female 3L #1: How does that work with the Commerce Clause, i mean, it's not like sperm travel the interstate.
female 3L #2: we are but vessels...

That's what she said

3L #1: Michiganite? Michiganian? What do you call someone from Michigan?

3L #2: Fucking baller.