Saturday, May 13, 2006

That's what my mom said...

2L Passenger: I think being in the car makes me have to pee.

2L Driver: It's like you're biologically constructed to frustrate me.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Civic Virtue

Prof (on taxation): "I think the way to build fine citizens is to teach everyone to steal from their neighbors through the public purse."

Eurotrash

Prof: The great advantage of being a European intellectual is that you can be stupid in four different languages.

Political views?

via IM
2L: Did you hear about the NSA phone bank?
2L: cnn.com
1L: wow
1L: that is absurd
1L: george bush makes me want to kick small puppies
1L: and i like puppies
1L: "Charging that guy with murder for telling his friend to go kill himself is like like telling a guy to go fuck himself and getting charged with rape."
Overheard by JP

Sounds like somebody just lost a kidney

1L: “I think there are two kinds of people who would sell their organs. First is poor people…and second is stupid people! There are a lot of people who make bad decisions. There are people who would sell their organs and put $10,000 on red 23 at Queen’s Casino.”

Overheard by nicky

i'll never forget conditions subsequent again

Professor, while miming smoking crack:“if the conveyance goes... from O to A for life, and then to B, unless B starts smoking crack... and i mean starts. When B puts the crackpipe upto his lips, he doesn't get the property.”

Overheard by nicky

So that's what the hooding ceremony involves

...during graduation rehearsal...

Dean of Students: "So you'll come over here, turn around, and bend over..."

Overheard by SB

Worst vacation trip EVER!

tourist and family walking by law school's library

Father: (says name of school outloud) Wow, look at them all, just plugging away. Kids, they're memorizing laws so they can become rich lawyers.
Kids: Ooh.

Overheard by CR

Good family values

Family Law Prof (handing out the final exam): If you open the exam before I tell you to, I will beat you...and not in the fun way!

Overheard by CR

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

When nerds make friends...

1L on cell: You know, I wish I was still anti-social. I wasn't any less unhappy, but at least no one cared.

The things you do to procrastinate

2L#1, walking from across the hall to see what the commotion is in the other classroom: what are you guys doing in here, studying?
2L#2: No, I’m trying to get him to watch horrible, horrible porn.

Overheard by RB

Advice to live by

Con Law Review:

Con Law Prof Extraordinaire: "I don't know what you guys know about exam writing"
IL: "we don't either."
CLPE : "you don't either, well that's good."

CLPE: "You've gotta see the forest through the trees, and there are a lot of trees you can get caught in, or..."
1L: "struck by"

CLPE: "i'm more interested in what's going on in your head…I mean not generally, I've got enough problems myself ...give me a chance to peek into your constitutional head."

CLPE: "I don't suggest people do what I did in law school…I used to smoke back then and I used to take notes on the back of matchbook covers…and then I'd get home and throw them on the dresser and find them later on…"

Overheard by TEC

Short and to the point

Crim Law Review

Crim Law Prof discussing common law crimes: "Kidnapping- we have a kid and a napping. There you go. Moving onto rape."

Overheard by KW

Nerdly virtues?

Civ Pro Review

Civ Pro Prof about Special Damages: "There is this case for special damages, if you’ve heard of this one, you won’t ever forget special damages. P got hit by a car & did all the normal damages- lost of wages, pain & suffering; but he also claimed a permanent erection, and this was before Viagra. Heck, my wife is out there pushing me in front of cars all the time…"

Civ Pro Prof: "Law school, like life itself, rewards the nerd-ly virtues."

Civ Pro Prof about Discovery: "What is your normal response when someone sues you- hey, this guy is an asshole, lets schedule him for 19 proctological exams next week."

Overheard by KW

Monday, May 08, 2006

Buyer's Remorse

2L #1: This umbrella was a good purchase.
2L #2: Yeah. It's no samurai sword, but...
2L #1: Oh yeah, I bought a samu...fuck.

Stiff competition

1L#1: I heard they don't give grades at Yale.
1L#2: Then how do they figure out the valedictorian?
1L#1: I dunno...whoever sucks the best dick?
1L#2: I would so win.

-- Overheard by MM

Forgotten PR quotes of note

2L: “I thought it was a plunger, not a broomstick.”
PR Prof: “No, because that would be gross.

Later,
PR Prof: “You don’t remember the case? An officer shoved a broken plunger up his butt, but really, you don’t need to know that to grasp the problem. Assault is assault.”

Like a Trained Seal

Plaintiff's Attorney: Hi, how are you?

Summer for Defense Attorney: Good, and yourself?

Plaintiff's Attorney: (To Defense Attorney) You trained her well.

Defense Attorney: (Gives "you're an asshole" look) Yeah.

Plaintiff's Attorney: Now sweetie, what's your name?

Summer: (silence and look from Plaintiff's Attorney) Ohh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me dollface?

(Defense Attorney smiles like a proud father.)

Dancing + law school = magic

Coming back from a bar at 7pm

1L: That's the first time I've talked to 1L2 in a year and I just got him to piroeutte for a sobriety test on the front steps.

-------------------------

1L: I've got it! Instead of taking our notes into the exam we'll just study property through interpretive dance. (commenses dancing to show property principles)

-- overheard by piratelaw

Wisdom from the International Superstar

International Superstar professor: "that's the one common denomenator with all of these cases, someone sued! otherwise there wouldn't be court cases."

ISP: "if i can train [foreign country] judges in a week, i can make you all experts in international law in a semester!"

ISP: "what is the first line of the declaration of independence?"
1L: "'we the people'"

Overheard by TEC

Con Law contributions

Con Law Prof, Extraordinaire: 'heterosexual couples could engage in oral sex, anal sex, and any other kind of sex without breaking the law!'

CLPE in re lawrence v. texas: "the police are much more likely to come in response to a gunshot rather than...people screaming too loud."

CLPE: "there were laws against masturbation, hm, i didn't realize that...think of all the people who would be in jail! certainly all males under the age of 12!"

CLPE: "as far as i know there is no way to conceive a child through sodomy...so it's a form of contreception! what a great way to end class..."

Overheard by TEC

Note from Liser

I've been a bad admin; while I was taking finals, I didn't post any of your contributions. They will be posted over the next few days, so if you sent something in (and it's funny), you should see it soon.

Thx
Management

Sunday, May 07, 2006

On Anxiety...

3L fretting over an exam the next day: "God, I'm so freaked out. I feel like I'm going to a fucking prison rape tomorrow."