Friday, November 04, 2005

Ain't THAT the truth

Civ pro prof: Witnesses are too talkative. You ask them what time they had breakfast, and the answer should just be "9:03." But instead, they say, "Oh, it was morning, I remember because the sun was coming through the window, I was eating eggs, I really like eggs, because they take my mind of the fact that yesterday I shot five people…"

Submitted by Homie

It's just his day job

2L: "Can he sue on the ground that there has been a change in circumstance and his children should being living with a killer?"

Family Law Prof: "Well, he's a contract killer. He only does it for money."

Submitted by Elle

Thursday, November 03, 2005

milk coming out of your nose

BA Prof: I hope you weren't didn't have any liquids in your mouth when you read that sentence, [Student]. Because you should have guffawed.

Prerequisite poo comment, take 2

2L guy: I hate the winter. I think I just blocked it out.
2L girl: I'm really not ready for winter just yet - what happened to the summer?
2L guy: I love the summer.
2L guy #2: ... I stepped in poop this morning.

Why South America doesn't trust the U.S.

2L #1: I love her, she's so hot. I'm going to get her her greencard.
2L #1: It was so cute - I had to explain to her what a wolf man was.
2L #2: You didn't show her?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The Professor is always right

Puzzled 2L who can't find passage: On page 155?
Admin Prof: Isn’t it there? (looks through case) I can’t find it, but TRUST ME, it’s there.

Freedom Fries?

Yale Law Prof: This is all of Europe, not just Old Europe, not just Frenchy countries.

Prerequisite pee comment

2L guy: A homeless man peed on my bushes yesterday when I was standing right there. He was muttering to himself, "Get out of here, ni**a!" I want to know, was he talking to his pee?

No Law in the Champagne Room

(In regards to the “I’m not sayin’ he shoulda killed her… but I understand!” OJ Skit and the justifications for voluntary manslaughter.)

Crim Law Prof: Chris Rock is drawing on 500 years of common law history when he does that routine!

Submitted by Pete

Case in pointelle

Tax prof: Yes, does this case (Douglas v. Wilicuts) remind us of another case? One where the paying of the taxpayer’s debt was treated as his income? Right, this is just Old Colony dressed in drag.

Submitted by Dorothy

The one about the farmer's daughter...

student: well, what about the case with the traveling salesman?
professor: what traveling salesman?
student: the traveling salesman somehow duping people...
professor: The door to door salesman! There's a big difference- traveling salesmen get jokes written about them. Door to door salemen don't- because they're not funny.

Happy for him.

student: (other student) won three hundred dollars!
student 2: Asshole.

More Cultural Sensitivity

Prof: Look at this graph? What's going on with executive compensation in Brazil? Defend yourselves Brazilians! You play mighty good soccer, but what about this?

You trust these people to give you an education?

Con Law prof: It's Friday afternoon, I guess I have to do things to wake you up. Ok, I have to get on the desk. After this case, didn't you start shouting, "I'm free! I'm free! I'm free!"

Con Law prof: You don't know how much I can see from here. All things.

Torts prof: There's a magic word that begins with c…cookie, no. Consent.

Torts prof: The Flopper is societally valuable.

Torts prof: Summers v. Tice is a case I like. I like the theory behind it…yes, I like it when people get shot.

Torts prof: Why would you brag to people that you did it?
1L: Beer.
Torts prof: Beer!

Contracts prof: Undue influence is "duress lite."

-- Submitted by Homie

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Don't We All

2L: The more time I spend in law school, the more I regret not becoming an animal cop.
3L#1: then the guy offered me 24 camels for the blonde girl that was with us. I thought about doing it.

3L#2: Well, you know that is valuable consideration.

3L#1: Yeah, but I would've settled for 3 camels. Mostly because the guy didn't seem that bad- you know not like the typical "I'll pour gasoline on women and set them on fire" guy. Plus, the blonde girl was kinda sucky.
3L guy: What did I miss yesterday?
3L chick: We read that case with the cat. Oh, and then he told this really funny story and no one appreciated it. If you had been there, I would have been cracking up. I mean, people were laughing, but not the people I'm on board with, you know?

Monday, October 31, 2005

This applies to 37% of us

2L: We all have different boxes that we think outside of, ok?

More things not to tell the client...

2L: Look, I just thought the client was super annoying. I didn't tell her that to her face though.

ring tone fun!

Embarrassed 3L is fumbling for his ringing cell phone, which is playing "Love Song" by the Cure.

Tax Prof: I assume that's J.S. Bach? Or perhaps Jimi Hendrix?

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Overheard in Torts

Torts prof: “It’s a tragedy of our modern liability system that things are getting safer and safer, and fewer kids are dying and it’s a lot less fun.”

Submitted by Sparky