Thursday, January 25, 2007

Lesson Learned?

Evidence Prof: I cut my finger working in my woodshop the other day on my jointer, you can bet I won’t do that again.
Student: But you still use your jointer.
Evidence Prof: Yeah, but it scares me, there’s still blood on the floor.

I've Got Nothing to Hide...Except.....

Crim Pro Prof: If you have nothing to hide do you just let the police go through your house?
Student #1: if you've got nothing to hide then who cares. Leave the windows wide open, save money on air conditioning.
Student #2: You can still have things to hide that aren't illegal.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

An old quote but a good one

3L (1L at the time): If there was an earthquake, and your house fell into the crack, would you adversely possess everything in that crack?

Good to know for the bar

3L: There are no wombats in torts.

Things Heard But Not Seen

3L #1: The Professor is blind. And there are 14 people in the class.
3L #2: The class is held in a regular lecture hall for a 100 people or so, but all of us sit in the back of the class
3L #3: Why do you all sit in the back? Are you afraid that he is going to see you?

why doesn't my tuition cover dry erase markers?

3L: Would you mind writing that Latin expression on the board?

Prof: Let me see if there's a marker. No, no markers. Hrm. I could write it in Chap Stick...

Unless, Of Course, He's Paid For It

Crim Pro Prof: Rehnquist doesn't mind his garbage being searched, but he doesn't want his bag being squeezed when he travels.

Was THAT What You Call A Pep Talk?

Professor: When you take the Bar Exam, you're going to leave feeling like you missed half the questions. And guess what? You probably did.

B-school swine.

Prof: Pretend fora moment, counterfactually, you know, in a sort of nightmare twilight zone world, that you're an MBA. How do you pitch this deal?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

just a little, tiny bit

Discussing Mers v. Dispatch Printing:

Employment Prof: So tell us about Mers. What happened to him?

2L: He was working as a traveling representative for Dispatch. And then he got into a little bit of legal trouble: rape, kidnapping, and gross sexual imposition.

Prof: Right. Just a little bit.

Monday, January 22, 2007

really, I'm far too weak to execute another convict

Legislation prof explaining the historical context of the rule of lenity: Most crimes used to be capital offenses. The rule of lenity was basically an out. Well, we weren't as specific as we should have been, so we won't hang you. It upsets us when we drink our port at night.

Make sure you wash the tails

2L: Take this class instead, I promise it's going to be more fun.
3L: Lots of things sound more fun than the class I'm in right now; this is of course including bath time in the monkey house at the zoo.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

O

3L female: That girl smiles like a donut.

The Secret Lives of Our Parents

Gay 3L: And somewhere over there is that new bath house; it apparently has the largest sauna in the world.
Straight Male 3L: The largest Sauna? or the largest sauna full of gay men?
Gay 3L: Both.
Straight Female 3L: Oh yea. I think my dad inspected their plumbing................Oh, in a nonsexual way!!!!