Prosecutorial discretion

Some advice from your friendly bloggers at Overheard: do not walk around your office naked, especially if you're a prosecutor in a government building.

Depends on who you talk to

3L: Crack in your sock is better than a sock in your crack, am I right?

Are you Jewish or something?

3L: We have an ethnical duty!

analogy time, kids!

Crim Pro Prof (discussing Terry stops): Either you're seized or you're not. It's like being pregnant. You either are or you're not. You can't be a little bit seized.

Desperate. Like the Housewives.

Professor: What do you think about the woman in this case, 3L #1? Personally, what do you think of a woman who contracted away half her fortune to keep a marriage together?

3L #1: (pauses) Well, it's not really for me to judge. People do crazy things in the name of love, and I don't think it's my place to judge them for it.

3L #2: I'll judge her. She was desperate.

Tell Them What They Wanna Hear

Elder Law Professor: What do you do when faced with an elderly person who lacks capacity, yet decides they want to get married?

Student: Can't you just tell the elderly person that they're already married?

she said penis!

Health Law Prof: Well, in this case, you'd use the Woodcock-Johnson test to evaluate...
Students snicker
Prof: You know, I'm not that old. I do get the joke.
3L guy #1: Wait, is that one person or two people?
Prof: Two people.
3L guy #2: Can you just imagine if it was one person? Peter Woodcock Johnson?
Students giggle some more
3L guy #3: Wait, what's so funny?
3L girl: The fact that Guy #3 is 10 seconds behind everyone else.

Torts: An Introduction to Ambulance Chasing

Torts Prof: Law isn't about the way things really are. It's about money.

Overheard by Natalie

What if you fall asleep?

Crim prof: Reading statutes is like having sex; you can't stop in the middle.
Overheard by JV

Because slapping white ass is fun!

African American Civ Pro prof talking about a discrimination case from 1974 where they joined women and African Americans in the same class action suit

Civ Pro Prof: So you're telling me that if this were 1974, you would group me and my family, after all we have suffered through, with a bunch of white women gettin' their asses slapped in the workplace?
1L: No, not at all.
Civ Pro Prof: That's right... Because if this were 1974 and you said yes, I would have shot you son...shiiiit.

Overheard by AC

Mulder agrees

2L: You mean aliens have rights under the constitution?

Overheard by Progressio Veritas

hungrily?

Civ Pro professor, while trying to explain an issue of Subject Matter Jurisdiction: You all are looking at me like MULES at a NEW FENCE!!

Overheard by AH

Copyright laws don't bother me

During a discussion for movies that could be shown instead of The Corporation:
Business Associations Prof: The only problem with showing this movie is that everyone would have to come to the classroom and watch it because it is not readily available for rental on Netflix or Blockbuster.
2L: You could make copies of it.
BA Prof: Not without violating several different copyright laws. I had to pay licensing fees to even show The Corporation in such a large public forum. I'm not even allowed to put it on reserve in the library.
2L: I could make copies of it.

Overheard by The LawBitches