Friday, March 03, 2006
Crying 1L: This school has ruined my fucking life.
Working 1L: At least you won't have to be a lawyer forever.
Crying 1L: Huh?
Working 1L: I mean, we'll die someday. That'll feel good, right?
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Prof: There’s nothing in the historical record to support this. Kenneth Culp Davis wrote a law review article and the Court jumped on board. The standing requirement is a real testament of the power of law professors to make a mockery of Constitutional Law.
2L: "Doesn't all of this seem totally freaky and Orwellian, all Big Brother is watching you?"
Crim Pro Prof: "No shit!"
2L (the same as above): "I don't understand how a gamma ray machine or whatever could ever replace a pooch. I mean an officer can say it does, but it's still not a pooch."
Crim Pro Prof: "So the gamma ray machine doesn't lick your hand, so what?"
1L #1: Thank you.
Bald Prof: 1L #2, you’re not wearing a hat, so I can’t compliment you on it…I’ll have to ask you a few questions instead.
1L #2: I do have nice hair…you could compliment me on that.
Bald Prof: That is the most insensitive thing anyone has ever said to me!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Guy #2: Dude, that's so funny. I wanna try that.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, he tried it with a law student. Don't try it with one of those girls. They'll, like, sue you or something.
Several minutes pass...
Guy #2: I'm still mad about our grades on that exam.
Guy #1: Me too! I can't believe we were dead last.
2L#3 (female): If I had a dollar for every time I've seen [2L#2]'s boobs...
2L#1: Well technically I've never seen them; the lights were off...
2L#2: Now now, those were my shoulder blades. Try to tell the difference next time, ok?
Writing Prof: "A $500 part on a $450K car? You're going to renig because of a $500 part? Suck it up and deal, Nicolas Cage!"
and later in the same class:
Writing Prof: Before you finish that contract, you must put in a clause that assures you that Nic Cage was not stoned when he agreed to buy the car.
Prof: "There was even evidence which suggested that the defendants had a sexual relationship with the dogs in question...and that they had an adoptive son...who may also have been involved in that particular menage. Or, if you like, menagerie."
Overheard by kommishoner
Property Professor: Ok so the English came over, and then what happened?
Property Professor: Who has been to Williamsburg?
Property Professor: Ahhh yes Mr. 1L!
1L: Oh, I was just raising my hand to say that yes, I've been to Williamsburg.
Overheard by SR
ILP: What was important going on at this time?
Student: Oh, there was some war.
ILP: Some war?
Student: Yea, some war... Oooooh, World War II.
-- Overheard by lawbrat
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Student: We had like three last year.
Prof: Maybe we scared them away. Anyway, so assuming we're in a French Court, there's a picture of Napoleon on the wall, and the virtues of the French Revolution are still being extolled despite what our friend Edmund Burke sad about it...
Comparative Law Professor: See, this is the kind of discussion that is important. There is no final exam for this class. But if there was, you can guarantee that this would be on it.
While discussing the ethics of lying to the Unabomber in order to obtain apsychiatric analysis against his direction...
PR Prof: "I feel like I could write some futuristic novel where this is our hero, the Unabomber... I haven't exactly thought out the screenplay."
-- Overheard by livinginthelaw
-- Overheard by Chutch (please welcome said author as the 1st of 3 new permanent posters!)
It's the "Who's gonna complain test." This is not an actual doctrine of law. Don’t write this down.
Monday, February 27, 2006
"I used to do a lot of housing cases because they were easy. You send in a tester and bam! You win a lot of money. Easy Money!"
CCLP: "Liberals wake up in the morning and try to figure out how to make the world better... conservatives wake up and say 'thank god i wasnt stabbed overnight... everything's okay.'"
CCLP, Introducing class to his judicial philosophy: "I am more Borkian....than Bork."
CCLP: “The one thing you gain in law school that is useful to being a lawyer is a higher tolerance for personal embarassment…I mean, you have to be able to stand up in a courtroom and say ‘OJ is innocent.’”
CCLP: “Government is dangerous; that’s why we should have as little of it as possible.”
CCLP, Discussing McCulloch: “My tax is unconstitutional? Your whole goddamn bank is unconstitutional, and so is your mother!”
CCLP: “That’s as commercy as commerce gets!”
-- Overheard by CLK
Sunday, February 26, 2006
I will only let you be a permanent poster if:
- You promise to post twice a week.
- The posts must be remotely amusing.
- You keep a "you have to be there to understand" to a minimum.
- You have either sent me a quote already (link me to when it was posted) OR send me a new one.
- You introduce yourself to me in the e-mail. Name, year in school, school. I won't lie, I'm looking for 1Ls and 2Ls because 3Ls don't give a shit anymore. I don't blame them. In fact, I envy them. As with law school in general, I will choose you based on the school you go to. I am looking for some ivy leaguers to give this blog some cred. Just kidding, because I already have two. BOO-YAH. I'm looking for people from different schools than those represented already. For the number of you from Indiana who e-mail me, there's got to be one of you who wants permanent posting privileges.
Out of the badness of my heart, if you have permanent posting privileges already and have not posted in the past month, you may be dropped (with notice). If you don't want posting privileges anymore, let me know. I want more posts and I want them now.
Overheard by the BLS
1L: I'm gonna go with yes.
Property Prof.: Is there a shorter and more accurate answer?
Overheard by Chutch
Overheard by Homie