Psychiatry fun!

Dr. R: Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry.

(explaining Dahmer)
Dr. R: Jeffrey Dahmer liked to drill small holes and put mureatic acid into people's brains to make them zombies so that they'd do his sexual bidding. Of course they'd get brain infections and die, so it wasn't sexful... successful... that's great.

people watching

Procrastinator 1: "His head... it makes me think of a shiny egg and I keep waiting for the humpty dumpty moment."

Procrastinator 2: "Is it bad that i'm taking great joy out of that? replaying a nice, satisfying splat every oh.....half a second."

Don't you want your own backup singers?

Female friend: "Hey! I have those pants!"
Girlfriend: "Hey! You have good taste!"
Hapless boyfriend: "Please never wear them on the same day."

Black Widow Law Student

2L chick to attractive 1L dude: I'm sure that since we've all been through it before, we could help you with your coursework, you know, whatever you need... I mean, I'd personally offer to help you if you need it.
2L chick #2: (whispered to 1L dude) Run!
2L chick #3: (whispered to 1L dude) As fast as you can!
2L chick #2: (not quite a whisper to 1L dude) She is engaged but eats men for dinner!

Starting the DSM-V

1L Chick: No, I don't think it's ADD or anything like that, I think I'm just bored.
1L Dude: Really? My dad thinks I have ADD, but I think I'm a little autistic.