Quit

Overheard at a job interview:

Potential employer: What would you do if your client banged a 5 year old and there is DNA evidence in his anus?

Very inclusive definition

Metro sign in DC: Give up your seats for somebody with a disability

3L#1: What counts as a disability?
3L#2: The test for a disability is "would the reasonable person feel bad for you?"

Federal Rules of Ego

Trial Ad Prof: You people need to know the rules of evidence! It's like you are playing a game of chess without knowing how the pieces move!
3L: My evidence prof was useless. I don't know the rules well enough.
Trial Ad Prof: Get a Gilberts. Read Mauet. Read the rules. That's what I did. My professor didn't teach us evidence and as a trial lawyer you really need to know them.
3L #2: [Lamenting] My evidence class didn't help me at all...
Trial Ad Prof: I had Laurence Tribe. Big Name. Big Ego. Couldn't Teach Evidence. In class, it would be like, "Thanks Larry, we'd love to hear more about your time in front of the Supreme Court."

She smells funny, afterall

Crim prof: "If we don't join the cases, he'll have to do probation with 3L. And nobody wants to probation with 3L."

Come on, the job search isn't that bad...

Legal Writing Professor: “I don’t want to die choking on Donald Rumsfeld!”
Overheard by AE

clearly the aneurysm

Civ Pro prof: "Did I just have a mild aneurysm or did you change your answer halfway through that?"

Overheard by this1Lgirl

You can't be in our study group.

1L in Civ Pro: "Can you review what a forum is?"

Overheard by this1Lgirl

can you spot the res gestae?

While discussing res gestae (Excited Utterances or Spontaneous Exclaimations):

Professor asks a question loudly, angrily, and suddenly to tiny 2L girl who was obviously trying to disappear in her seat.

2L: Fuck, I don't know! He was stressed? He was scared?

Prof: Oh, did I scare you?

2L: Kinda, a little, yeah.

Prof: Awwwwww, I'm sorry. Here. VIRTUAL HUG. Don't be scared. Give me an answer.

Overheard by RS

Everybody likes excessive cologne

Constitutional Law Professor: So, how can we make U.S. v. Lopez a sexy case about individual rights?

2L: Spray the book with cologne and tell us we don't have to read it?

Overheard by RS

more potty humor

Contracts Prof: "Assent is the bathroom of contracts. The sooner we wash our hands of it and leave, the better off we are."
Overheard by hick narcissus

You never have to grow up

Contracts Prof: So, in Holman Erection v. Orville, defendant was a general contractor who...[Prof. starts snickering]
Contracts Prof: [muttering to himself] Damnit! I promised myself I wouldn't laugh.

Overheard by basic thesis

Shearing Is Caring

3L: I think I could shave a stranger's balls...but not yours.