Well, you must be pretty flexible...

During study group:
1L: Don't worry. I gave myself a vasectomy with my teeth when I was 12.

Overheard by MS

In All Fairness, The Internet Is For Porn

2L: I just did the "forgot password" thing and it e-mailed me a new password and that doesn't work, either...even cyber-career services sucks.

It's Finally Come To This

3L: I just passed a moment in class where the professor officially sounded like the muted trumpet from Peanuts...I have no clue what he's saying anymore...I'm even listening.


Overheard by Old Cowhand

a/s/l?

3L: What are you wearing?
2L: pink pants and a sweater
3L: i am wearing corduroy pants with a striped shirt
2L: and underneath?

has paternity been established?

2L: I am thinking about taking a class with Prof X, but he scares me. He looks like Conan O'Brien's corpse.

always investigate strange noises in your most revealing lingerie

Crim Pro Prof: You all watch Law and Order. When they ask the suspect if they can search his house, what are you all screaming at the TV? Don't consent! Don't consent! Bad things will happen! It's like horror movies. Don't have sex! You're gonna get killed!

Watch your step...

in business law class.
2L#1 (who studied religion before law school): He says "profits" and i hear "prophets"
2L#2: yeah, i walk outside and see torts...my sister sees broken ankles.

a fine line...

2L (talking about prof): He doesn't hate homosexuals, he just doesn't think they should have rights.

What's the thing between the dick and the a-hole?

Crim Pro Prof: You have to purge the taint!

Not all beliefs are up in smoke

Con Law Prof: What's to stop people from saying "I belong to the Church of Weed and need to be exempt from the drug laws?"

Religious Judgment

Liberal-minded 2L: Evolution is a theory, and a great example of scientific method. How can anyone feel that it affronts their religion? I don't see how it can.

Conservative Christian 2L: That's because you're not religious.

so punny

2L: surprise, a bathroom at law school exploded
3L: ours?
2L: yep, there is an email
3L: hahahaahahhaa
2L: i'm pissed, its the one i usually use because noone is ever in there
3L: pissed, good one

I'm sure parts of Oklahoma are...um....nice?

Business Law Prof: For example, let's say you buy a dry dusty piece of land in Oklahoma - well, that's redundant - let's say you buy a piece of land in Oklahoma...

something we should all strive for?

1L: How's your paper coming?

2L: Oh yeah, i'm all over it like an anorexic girl at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

1L: i don't have enough will power to be anorexic. i admire that.

Big Fish in a Small Pond or Little Fish in a Big Pond

On transferring from a Top 100 Law School to a Top 5 Law School

2L: I think about the smartest thing that I can say, I raise my hand to say it, and as soon as I am done talking I know what I have said is so so wrong. I feel like a first grade Special-ed student who has been placed into 5th grade honors math.

he used to work for the city

Property Prof: You look like the kind of guy who knows something about plumbing.

1L: I know how to lay some pipe.

Overheard by DSE

subpoena sluts

re: who to subpoena

Professor: "If you can't get them in the door voluntarily, they probably won't give the most favourable testimony. Lesson learned, class, don't be promiscuous with your subpoenas."

Overheard by Ali

Perjury isn't just for bulimics anymore

Civ Pro Professor: What are you going to do if you know that the statements you take are going to be given over to the other side?

1L: Make false statements!

Overheard by SA

Just like the rest of law school

re: another course he will be teaching in the Spring

Tenured Antitrust Prof who has lost all passion for teaching: “And if you haven’t figured it out by now, you will have to teach it to yourself.”

Overhead by Anonymous

Whatever floats your boat

re: Predicting economic trends based on performance of suburban retail stores.

Biz Orgs Prof: "Some people get their kicks from playboy. I get my kicks from strip malls."

Overheard by KW

that'd explain it!

3L: "We didn't learn evolution in class..."
(silence)
3L: "I'm from Kansas."