Saturday, March 31, 2007

you mean a Freedom whore

2L: I don't know what I drank last night, but my mouth tastes like a French whore today.

Please sit on the other side of the room

3L: I don't know about y'all, but I'm mad flatulent today.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Kids just aren't a priority...

Discussing what to do if the police want to talk to your kid.

Student #1: I'd probably tell them to go down and talk to the police if he didn't do it and he'll be exonerated.
Crim Pro Prof: Uhhhhhhhhh....what if it was your client?
Student #1: Well that's a different story.
Crim Pro Prof: I think i'd rather be your client than your kid.

a couple minutes later, same conversation

Crim Pro Prof: What about you, what would you do?
Student #2: I'd call an attorney.
Crim Pro Prof: You ARE an attorney!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

context, people, context!

3L: I mean, Rob Halford, the lead singer of Judas Priest, is the classic gay leatherman. And nobody noticed!

Prof (noticing another 3L who is beet red): Those are words you never expected to hear in class, huh? Classic gay leatherman.

I'm a Kennedy man, myself

3L: He's just irritating. He's like one of those people who masturbates to Scalia decisions.

inquiring minds want to know

Legislation Prof (discussing Boutilier v. INS): Is 'sex pervert' like a restraint on trade?

Non-law student 1, law student 0

academically-excited-2L: Check out what this guy says in the reading
for my Philosophy of Criminal Law seminar!

non-law-student: Why does it keep talking about actors?

2L: It doesn't mean film stars. It just means a person who acts.

non-law-student: Man, am I glad I'm not you.

Overheard by Criminellie

Math! The Final Frontier!

Bus. Org. class discussion on calculations for stock profits:

Student 1: Wait, I don't understand your calculations. How'd you get those numbers?
Bitchy student: Math.

Overheard by EN

maybe there wasn't enough lube

In Entertainment Law - after a discussion of right of publicity in pornography

LLM Student: This class is like missionary. It's great your first time, then it gets old.
2L: Nah, it's more like anal. You keep thinking "Is he done yet? This hurts."

Overheard by RRS

Those nerds would know, after all

After a long and non-fulfilling conversation regarding pornography and free speech protection...

3L: "I just went in the law review office to check if there's still a 1st Amendment. There is."

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Law School kills creativity.

Guest speaker who is a prosecutor: I haven’t had an original thought since I left law school. And back then I didn’t really have them, I just made sure to footnote it.

Monday, March 26, 2007

but if he gets acquitted, he's OJ'd

Crim Pro Prof: If he lies, he gets Scooter Libby'd.

a better way

Prof: Well, far be it from me to tell the justices...Wait, no, never mind. It's not far from me. Academics are full of hubris. You can write an opinion and not look like an idiot. Don't concur with yourself. Use Roman numerals!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

what, no day of rest?

Overheard at church...

2L: Were you listening to the sermon? He said due diligence! I thought I could come here and get away from it all.
3L: Nah, the priest is waaay too overeducated not to use the proper term.