Thursday, July 27, 2006

Biblical Exam Directives

While the exams were being passed out for Professional Responsibility

: I know it's tempting, but don't read through the back of the paper onto the last page of the test. Keep thy x-ray vision to yourself
3L: Is that the 11th Commandment? Right after don't sleep with your clients?

I knew I should've taken latin

Gob Bluth: They're lawyers, Michael. That's latin for "liar."

Good luck!

Good luck to all recent graduates taking the bar.

(and most likely the rest of the Overheard posters, too)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

while trying to deciper medical records of a plaintiff with personal injuries from a motor vehicle accident...

Articling Clerk: Umm, I'm a little confused.

First Year Associate: What does it say?

Articling Clerk: Well, it says that she got an "STI" from the collision...doesn't that stand for Sexually Transmitted Infection??? What the hell was she DOING?

First Year Associate: Wow, what else could that mean? I have no idea...

First Year Associate #2, entering office and overhearing the conversation: You guys are perverts. It stands for Soft Tissue Injury. Jeesh.

Overheard by CanadianLawStudentGoneWild

Goodbye evil book!

rising 3L: I sold my Contracts book. I think my life will get exponentially better now, kind of like it was before... You know, before that book came into my life.

Monday, July 24, 2006

my personality just makes people think I'm nuts

The scene: magistrate judge is about impose sentence on a defendant in traffic court who's been acting erratically at best, trying to sabotage her own plea agreement, and has just told the judge that the real problem is that he doesn't "understand her affect."

Judge: How long will it take you to pay the fine?
Defendant is silent.
Judge: Okay, fine, you have 60 days.
Attorney: Judge, if I may, my client is on Social Security disability and is on a fixed income.
Judge: What's the nature of the disability?
Attorney: Physical, your honor, she's had lower back sur...
Defendant (interrupting): It's a mental disability!
Judge: I can *see* that it's mental.

The truth sometimes burns

Barbri Torts Prof: Amtrack - love the service - "can I enhance the smell of urine for you sir?"

Overheard by melissa

That's how I felt the first time.

CivPro Professor: We begin with personal jurisdiction. Remember that? That's all that Pennoyer crap.

Overheard by carrie

Just like gay penguins!

Domestic Relations Professor: "Cohabitation" is a euphemism--what we're really saying is that they're living together ... and they're doin' it.

Overheard by carrie

The lines between good and bad blur in law school.

Law Student: I just found out I made Law Review, and it is actually making me question whether there is a God.
Non-law Student: Why?
Law Student: Because how is it that something that good happened to me? I'm a bad person!
Non-law Student: Well, no-one said God was fair...

Overheard by MC

Somebody really likes his vacation

Prof B: See, that's what pisses me off! If I'm on vacation, I don't want to be disturbed. I had this one ass call me on my global cell phone, drunk no less, while I was in New Zealand on vacation. Just because I give out my number doesn't mean you use it. The bastard cost me $5. I mean, I don't even care if my dad dies...don't bother me. He will still be dead when I get home. Me ruining a perfectly good getaway isn't gonna bring him back. Moral of the story: Don't bother me when I'm on vacation.
-Overheard by SA

Slip of the tongue

1L: So, when a person is in a persistent vegatative state and is on a vibrator, the law just allows people to fight it out over who lives or dies? I don't think that people should be able just to remove a vibrator from someone and leave them without it when its necessary to sustain life.

Prof Z: Um, Mr. Student, you mean ventilator, right? Not vibrator?

Overheard by SA