Friday, June 09, 2006

a very important conversation

rising 3L: Golden showers are gross. I would never want somebody to pee on me.
rising 2L: No shit!
rising 3L: DEFINITELY no shit!

I like this law school better than mine

Crim Prof: "Who here is still using drugs while they are in law school?"

Prof raises his hand but no one in the class does.

Crim Prof:
"Come on, I know someone does. My first year here I used to know a lot of students who were smoking pot while they were in school. (pause) I was selling them the pot."

I have a headache

Professor: They read the suspect his Miranda rights, ask if they can question him, and the suspect replies with "Not right now." Is that an unambiguous invocation of his Miranda rights?

Class: silence

Professor: Come on, guys! It's clear! I mean, if this was an issue about sex, what would it mean? "Feel like sex?" "Not right now!" No! It means no!

-- Overheard by AT

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I've got fleas?

Non-law student: I've only gotten fleas twice in my life.

Raising 2L: Really, when?

Non-law student: Once when I was in Fiji with the Peacecorps and the other time was when I lived with you.

Maybe I have hope yet!

while in Crim Law barbri class...

post-3L: "What does Larceny mean?"

-- Overheard by DEV

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

You couldn't play nice, could you?

d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,
-vs- Case No. 6:05-cv-1430-Orl-31JGG
This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff’s Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.

PDF here. Hat tip: Feministe

Monday, June 05, 2006

Why Law Students Are Not Comedians: Exhibit A

Recent Law School Grad, now Lawyer: Oh, crap! The sole off of my heel came off. Now I'm going to have to take the sole off the other heel so I'm not walking around all lopsided.

Smart-ass 3L: Oh, cool! So your shoes will be "Lawyer Shoes!"

Recent Law School Grad, now Lawyer: (pause) How do you figure?

Smart-ass 3L: Well, your shoes won't have any soles. And lawyers don't have any souls, either. So now you match.

Recent Law School Grad, now Lawyer: Until then, I had no idea how unfunny you really are.