The two things guaranteed in life...

Corporate Finance Professor: Sometimes shareholders get lucky and engage the biggest tax loophole of them all. So if you are lucky enough and your shareholders die in time, then you can defer your dividend to get the lower tax rate.

(Pauses.)

But, well, that is probably not the story you want to tell.

but I'm too beautiful for that!

1L chick: He was really creepy, so I went and hid a little until he found someone else.

1L chick's friend: Yeah, that's weird.

1L chick: It's just hard to be this cute.

just say it!

Admin Prof: Can we talk about this case, Mr. [Student]

Student: Sorry, guilty as charged.

*pause*

Admin Prof: Huh?

Student: I'm not prepared.

Admin Prof (with meaningful look): Oh.

That's the least he could do

Subtitute immigration prof: "If the judge gives you VD, you get a pass"

-- Submitted by Christine

Classic Prof N Quotes!

Prof N: “When you die, and you will…”

Prof N: “Sex is one of those things in which the amateur is more highly esteemed than the professional.”

Prof N: “Some things go away when you die, besides life. But not contracts.”

Prof N, excerpting from the discussion of Hadley v. Baxendale: “I’ve already got a contract with Hadley to take his shaft.”
Prof N: “Okay, I’m not takin’ your shaft!”

-- Submitted by TI

Money matters

Property prof: "They didn't hire a lawyer! They're either lazy or cheap, we don't know which. Okay. I don't mean to sound pejorative, but how are we supposed to make any money if they don't hire us?"

Contracts prof: "If it only takes three or four hours to resolve a case, I usually don't even charge them [the client]."
1L: "Is that why you're teaching now?"

-- Submitted by Laura