Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Just sign language for "I'm not happy"

Following 20 minute class discussion about a ho beaten so severely by her pimp that he had to take her to the hospital, where he again started to beat her causing her to jump out an eighth story window to her tragic demise:

Previously silent male 1L: I think it is ridiculous that men should be held responsible for the irrational actions of any crazy woman they piss off.

Same Male 1L: The pimp wasn’t “beating” his ho; he was merely communicating his discontentment with the relationship. Perhaps a better way would have been for him to simply tell her that she had become a fat old skank and he wasn’t interested anymore.

At the beginning of class the following Monday:

Prof: Where’s Male 1L? Did the girls in class get to him over the weekend?

Overheard by SS

The only thing law students like more than other law students is a lawyer

Re: Valentine's Day

Contracts prof: The law school is fertile ground for hook-ups y'all... Once you graduate you won't have time to find someone... so you only have 2 1/2 years left!

Overheard by SL

I said, jump!

2L girl: Crap. My boss at [Big Firm] just sent me an email. He's starting a summer softball league. I'm terrible at softball.

2L guy: So? Just don't play.

2L girl: don't understand how the big firms work. I'm going to the batting cages.

Overheard by MM

Prerequisite taint post

Professor: There are screens in place, often other lawyers, to prevent your taint from touching the rest of the firm.

Overheard by laughing in the back row

Sometimes you have to dissent to make them want you to concur even more.

1L guy #1 shakes fist angrily.

1L guy #2: reading a Scalia opinion?

1L guy #1: No, Brennan.

1L guy #2: The problem is, Brennan's never met a rule he liked. No rules for him.

1L guy #1: Seriously. If Brennan was a chick, he'd put out on the first date.

Overheard by RB

It also leaves a giant stain on the rug

Contracts Prof: This case is so difficult to disentangle that it's the legal equivalent of an orgy.

Overheard by learned hand, a 1L.

Um, burned?

Prof: I'm so on fire today, I'd cauterize you if I shook your hand!

Overheard by Hecuba

Quick, somebody check Professor Assgrabber's criminal record!

Evidence Prof: So, would it be an excited utterance, for example, if you were on a bus and I just walked by and... just.... pinched your little buttocks?! What if I were an attractive woman? You'd probably like it!

Overheard by HH

90 degrees means I know it when I see it!

Re: discussing Constitutional protection of obscenity

Con Law prof: One of my early jobs was working for some magazines and I had to read Playgirl every month... One of the things I had to determine whether it was obscene was something called the "angle of the dangle."
Overheard by KE