From Liberal To Conservative In The Blink Of An Eye

1L: It’s such bullshit. If you go to the White House website they have all these coloring-book photos of the Presidents. Most of them are portraits or drawings of them in the Oval Office. George W. Bush’s is him in a playground with a bunch of kids . . . Bill Clinton has his zipper down.

2L OCI Interviews #2

2L #1: Where are you interviewing?
2L #2: Lord, Bissel and Brock
2L #1: That's the firm that does half-litigation and half-vacuum manufacturing, right?

Is that Lavender?

A 2L hands his resume to his friend:

2L Guy #1: This is really nice paper
2L Guy #2: I went all out on the resume paper
2L Guy #1: You should spritz it up with cologne
2L Guy #2: My interviewer is a guy

I guess you didn't see High Fidelity

1L #1: I hate John Cusack
1L #2: How can you hate John Cusack?
1L #1: He’s a horrible human being. If it was between Death Row Inmates and John Cusack, I pick the inmates every time.

self-referential irony

The scene: sexually harassing 3L guy is attempting to chat up two attractive 1L women during the first week of class.

3L guy: You have to watch out in law school. There are lots of shady people.

Safety First

Professor: Another safety tip along with don’t have unprotected sex with prostitutes is don’t drive a motorcycle…But if you have into an accident on one, get in an accident with a car, not a tree, so you can get No-Fault benefits.

Just My Luck

Professor: The judge wouldn't even let me speak on summary disposition. So, enraged, since I didn't like this judge to begin with, I appealed and I was going to ask the Court of Appeals that judge be disqualified. I didn't have to ask that since the judge had been promoted to the Court of Appeals.

hey baby, what's your sign?

3L describing the arbitrariness of First Amendment law: "That sign is good, that one is fine, OH GOD THAT ONE IS 3" TOO BIG!"

War and Feets

2L #1: Something in this room smells like feet. I can't figure out if it's me. This is both frustrating and paranoia-inducing.
2L #2: Eww. I hate feet. Pigeons and feet are my least favorite things in the world. Oh, and war. War is bad too.

Overheard by EN

Summer Dream Sequence

Scene: A birthday party for a co-worker/friend where rising 2L was working. She happens to sit next to a law professor.

Law Professor to rising 2L: So, what do you do?
Rising 2L: (after taking a sip of wine) Oh, I'm a law student.
Law Professor: You don't look oppressed enough to be a law student.

If You Wanted To Be Her Lover...

2L#1: We went out once. We went to the Spice Girls concert.
2L#2: Really!?! Did you tell her what you want...what you really, really want?

No Means No

At Student Organization Fair
3L #1: 3L #2, want a cookie?
3L #2: You know I can't say no!
2L: That's why she's president of Law Students 4 Choice!

3L and non-lawstudent discuss a mutual friend who wants to go to lawschool:

3L: I told him how awful lawschool is- I really hope [mutual friend] takes my advice and doesn't apply.
Non-lawstudent: Nah, he won't listen, [mutual friend] is an asshole. He deserves to go to lawschool.

It's not about fairness, It's about winning

3L: As I am arguing, what if I reference a case that wasn't in my pleadings...how is my opponent supposed to know what I am talking about?
Prof: Who cares!

Judge Mentality

Appellate Advocacy Prof: "I'm a judge. I have an Article III ego. I can be stupid, you can't"

A working definition

1L: Did you see Snakes on a Plane?
3L: Not yet.
1L: I saw it with the the 'law school couple.' You know, the unattractive pair that starts dating the first night of orientation.

she didn't mean it when she said 4 pages was cute

Appellate advocacy professor, on lengths of briefs: "This isn't a big dick contest. The longest doesn't win."

Overheard by Sal.

You just want to hang out with detective Benson

2L: How would I go about becoming a Special Victims prosecutor?
Summer boss: You have a better chance of becoming a special victim.

Overheard by CS

maybe it's time to move to Nevada...

2L: I'd like to shop for carpet, but it's illegal in most states.