Thursday, September 07, 2006

From Liberal To Conservative In The Blink Of An Eye

1L: It’s such bullshit. If you go to the White House website they have all these coloring-book photos of the Presidents. Most of them are portraits or drawings of them in the Oval Office. George W. Bush’s is him in a playground with a bunch of kids . . . Bill Clinton has his zipper down.

2L OCI Interviews #2

2L #1: Where are you interviewing?
2L #2: Lord, Bissel and Brock
2L #1: That's the firm that does half-litigation and half-vacuum manufacturing, right?

Is that Lavender?

A 2L hands his resume to his friend:

2L Guy #1: This is really nice paper
2L Guy #2: I went all out on the resume paper
2L Guy #1: You should spritz it up with cologne
2L Guy #2: My interviewer is a guy

I guess you didn't see High Fidelity

1L #1: I hate John Cusack
1L #2: How can you hate John Cusack?
1L #1: He’s a horrible human being. If it was between Death Row Inmates and John Cusack, I pick the inmates every time.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

self-referential irony

The scene: sexually harassing 3L guy is attempting to chat up two attractive 1L women during the first week of class.

3L guy: You have to watch out in law school. There are lots of shady people.

What's that Long For?

Prof: What happened in the case?
3L: So Stephenson abducted what's her name...
Prof: Madge... Poor Madge Oberholtzer.
3L: Right, Madge... so we'll call her Maggie...
Prof: Because that's shorter than "Madge."

Safety First

Professor: Another safety tip along with don’t have unprotected sex with prostitutes is don’t drive a motorcycle…But if you have into an accident on one, get in an accident with a car, not a tree, so you can get No-Fault benefits.

Just My Luck

Professor: The judge wouldn't even let me speak on summary disposition. So, enraged, since I didn't like this judge to begin with, I appealed and I was going to ask the Court of Appeals that judge be disqualified. I didn't have to ask that since the judge had been promoted to the Court of Appeals.

hey baby, what's your sign?

3L describing the arbitrariness of First Amendment law: "That sign is good, that one is fine, OH GOD THAT ONE IS 3" TOO BIG!"

War and Feets

2L #1: Something in this room smells like feet. I can't figure out if it's me. This is both frustrating and paranoia-inducing.
2L #2: Eww. I hate feet. Pigeons and feet are my least favorite things in the world. Oh, and war. War is bad too.

Overheard by EN

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Summer Dream Sequence

Scene: A birthday party for a co-worker/friend where rising 2L was working. She happens to sit next to a law professor.

Law Professor to rising 2L: So, what do you do?
Rising 2L: (after taking a sip of wine) Oh, I'm a law student.
Law Professor: You don't look oppressed enough to be a law student.

If You Wanted To Be Her Lover...

2L#1: We went out once. We went to the Spice Girls concert.
2L#2: Really!?! Did you tell her what you want...what you really, really want?

No Means No

At Student Organization Fair
3L #1: 3L #2, want a cookie?
3L #2: You know I can't say no!
2L: That's why she's president of Law Students 4 Choice!
3L and non-lawstudent discuss a mutual friend who wants to go to lawschool:

3L: I told him how awful lawschool is- I really hope [mutual friend] takes my advice and doesn't apply.
Non-lawstudent: Nah, he won't listen, [mutual friend] is an asshole. He deserves to go to lawschool.

It's not about fairness, It's about winning

3L: As I am arguing, what if I reference a case that wasn't in my pleadings...how is my opponent supposed to know what I am talking about?
Prof: Who cares!

Judge Mentality

Appellate Advocacy Prof: "I'm a judge. I have an Article III ego. I can be stupid, you can't"

Monday, September 04, 2006

A working definition

1L: Did you see Snakes on a Plane?
3L: Not yet.
1L: I saw it with the the 'law school couple.' You know, the unattractive pair that starts dating the first night of orientation.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

she didn't mean it when she said 4 pages was cute

Appellate advocacy professor, on lengths of briefs: "This isn't a big dick contest. The longest doesn't win."
Overheard by Sal.

You just want to hang out with detective Benson

2L: How would I go about becoming a Special Victims prosecutor?
Summer boss: You have a better chance of becoming a special victim.

Overheard by CS

maybe it's time to move to Nevada...

2L: I'd like to shop for carpet, but it's illegal in most states.