Thursday, April 20, 2006

Don't mess with Texas

Con Law Prof: "This is another case granted certiorari from Texas. You know if it wasn't for Texas, we'd have nothing to talk about."
____

Explaining MPC on Murder:

1L: would that be considered intent or reckless disregard?

Crim Law prof: Typically this would be intent, but hey case this is texas and they probably bounce it down to a misdemeanor. (in deep Texas twang) Shoot what's the matter with you boy, you only shotthat sunnufabith once!

-- Overheard by francesa

Practical Issuespotting

Crim law prof: I know you're all stressed about finals, so let me just tell you this. When I was a 1L my father died the November of my first semester. And I still took all my finals.

Student: Sure, but how did you do in them?

-- Overheard by Criminellie

You're telling me

Crim law prof: "oh the things I could do with a class full of prostitutes"

Overheard by Mr. Rule 11

The guy next to me actually cares.

How to get an A in Legal Writing:

Writing Prof: It's like that joke, you know, two men are camping in the woods and a bear comes to the campsite... One guy puts on his shoes, the other guy asks "Why are you putting on your shoes? We have to run from the bear!" The guy with shoes says, "I don't have to run faster than the bear; I have to run faster than you!" So do better than the guy sitting next to you. Good luck!

A Short History Lesson

Con Law Prof: Back then it was called the Northwest Territories. Today it’s called the Big 10.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

yeah for the curve?

2L: Okay, so the first part is multiple choice. This second part. Do we just do our normal law school bullshit analysis?

More Political (In)Correctness

Evidence Professor while talking about FRE 804(a)(5):
"A colleague of mine once had a Korean witness, there was a dep taken which was favorable to my colleague and right before they were about to go to trial the guy goes...
[Professor using fake "Korean" accent]: I give false deposition.
"My colleague said he just about bought him a one way ticket back to Korea, but clearly under this rule that would not work since the proponent cannot be responsible for procuring the witnesses unavailablity."

Me (to Korean friend): Wow. So offensive and yet such a good illustration of the rule.

Korean Friend: Ehh, I'm kinda suprised he didn't call all Asians "slant eyes", that wasn't that bad for him.

That's just wrong...

CrimPro Prof: "Is it long enough to purge the taint?"

Oink, Oink

During semester review, discussing a question in email:

Civ Pro Prof: The question is "Should we discuss all three types of jurisdiction -- personal, supplemental, and federal question -- when analyzing the question?"

The student is dealing with apples, grapefruits, ...and pigs here.

Politically (In)correct

2L girl, whining about car not starting, forgetting homework, bad hair: "I'm having a bad hair day. I must be getting punished for something I've done at this point in my life, but I have no idea what that could be... I'm not even gay."

2L boy: "You are a dirty Jew, though."
____

2L girl: What was she prosecuted under?
2L boy: A Preventing Pinko statute?

____

2L girl: What are you staring at?
2L boy: A wasp.
2L girl: In here?
2L boy: No, outside.
2L girl: Wait, are you Protestant?
2L boy: Yes?
2L girl: Then I see a WASP in here, too!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Fists of Fury

Property Professor: During the Civil Rights era, there was a "frown against discrimination" campaign - if someone made a racist comment you frowned. When I was a kid, if someone called me a "chink" I punched him.

D'oh v. Wade

Con Law Prof, talking about how preganancy affects women v. men: "I mean I have three kids and believe me, sensitive male as I may be, I didn't have much to do with those nine months..."

Con Law Prof, talking about how married people can't have abortions and failure to consummate the marriage is grounds for annulment: "there are only so many days you can have a headache...we've gotta have some levity to this conversation."

Male 1L: "but only women get pregnant, i mean - i'm pretty sure i don't have a uterus"
Con Law Prof: "well, i don't know for sure but that's probably true"

-- Overheard by TEC

Meanwhile Jack McCoy gets the spotlight...

From A Guest Speaking, Practicing, Public Defender:

On Smart Clients:
"
I got my client a plea deal of 8 years for kidnapping…he refused…I was like ‘you confessed, they have it on video tape, why are you going to make me go to trial and look stupid?'"

On Plea Deals:
Student: "What tactics do you use for negotiating pleas with the District Attorney?"
Attorney: "Please. Really...Please! Other times it is like, come on, you owe me one for screwing my last client"

On Trial Tactics:

Student: "How often do you put your clients on the stand?"
Attorney: "I wish I never had to put my clients on the stand"

Civ Pro Gets Sexy

Civ Pro Prof: Sexual intercourse in our state is now sufficient to establish personal jurisdiction over an individual in a paternity matter. I’ll let you go over the minimum contacts analysis in the privacy of your own homes. Now for the best part. The name of the parties: Yankton v. Cummings. I could not have come up with this stuff myself.


--overheard by Sara

Monday, April 17, 2006

Are 'hairy palms' a legitimate governmental interest?

Discussing Scalia's dissent in Lawrence and the sorts of horrible things Scalia thinks allowing sodomy between consenting adults could lead to...

Con Law Prof: I think he probably just should've left masturbation off the list, it doesn't really help his argument, but does anyone want to take a crack and helping him out on this one?

1L: Well, it causes blindness.

Left Coast Fun

Prof: If you go into a state court in California on a takings claim, you'll know you've lost.

And this is Contracts. Really.

Contract Professor: You’re doing what you need to do for the exam, but you missed a crucial point. You aren’t at the top of the pyramid… You’re groveling around at the bottom with the rest of the slugs.

Classic Crim Law. I promise, this was Crim Law.

Professor: What is a transport of passion? Is that a van with a waterbed in back?

Professional [Ir]Responsibility Roundup

3L: My notes say "[Blah Blah]" do you know what it means?

Prof: No.
_____________________________________________

Professor: NEVER, NEVER, get paid in Cocaine.
_____________________________________________

(After reviewing Texas PR case making it nearly impossible to sue for malpractice in criminal cases in Texas)

"Maybe you should go do criminal law in Texas...But then you'd have to go there."
_____________________________________________

(Professor having a Jack Burns in Meet The Parents Moment)

"Can you trust your clients? No, the answer is no."

Hollywood takes over law school

Upon learning about a Corporations case with a
corporate raider who wanted to take over a company and
sell it for its parts
:

Girl: So is this guy like Richard Gere from Prety
Woman?

Overheard by NS

--

Prof: How should doctors decide who gets ICU beds?
Student: Well, on Grey’s Anatomy there was this episode where they gave the bed to the patient most likely to live.
Prof: How did you feel about that decision
Student: it was a really sad episode

Overheard by maleman

Older than dirt

Student: How does that relate to [case in footnote]?
Prof: Oh, I don’t know; I read that case when Grover Cleveland was in office.

Overheard by LP

Amen to that

Professor: Why are you in law school?
1L: My life would be nothing but naps if I didn't come here first every day.

Overheard by JES

Kevorkian + Dahmer

1L#1: I think we should have a culture of freedom and people should be allowed to do whatever they want, if it doesnt hurt anybody else.
Con law prof: What about cannibalism? If one person wants to be eaten is that ok?
1L#1: uhmmm....
1L#2 (to his neighbor): I don't see what the big deal is. It's like suicide, but somebody gets dinner.

Overheard by piratelaw

Depends on your definition of "nuisance"

property prof: Now 1L buys the land next to me. What would you put there that might cause a nuisance?
1L: an apartment building...and, oh what're those called?
(entire class looks at him confused)
1L (excitedly): Oh, yeah! A titty bar!

0verheard by piratelaw