Monday, December 26, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
BA Prof: …regardless, or as they say in New Jersey, irregardless…
BA Prof: I may not be a nice guy, but I am ethical. Or at least I’m not unethical.
Submitted by TI
Submitted by Jaime
S&L Prof: You can’t swim nude in your swimming pool, which is a real bummer. (Pause) I don’t have a swimming pool, but it sounds to me like a bummer.
Submitted by TI
Friday, December 23, 2005
Since all of us are nowhere near our respective law schools right now to overhear anything of importance (and by importance I of course mean quotable tidbits), the question to the readers is this:
Should we continue to blog funny things overheard at say, family dinners? Or should we take a hiatus until the end of break? It's your call. E-mail or comment here directly and let us know.
Thanks and happy holidays from your nosy friends at Overheard.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Computer: You have a message from John Smith.
Con Law Prof: Well, that is just so embarrassing. Thank god that wasn't one of those enhance your penis size emails. I must get at least four or five of those a day. I mean, HOW MUCH do they know about me anyway?
Dumb Blonde #1: What was the intent of the framers in writing the Constitution...what were they trying to achieve?
Dumb Blonde #2: I don't know...something having to do with like, uniting the states or something, right?
Dumb Blonde #1: What are the three branches of government laid out in the Constitution?
Dumb Blonde #2: Uhhhhh...the President, courts and stuff...and...uhhhh...something with the environment? Like preserving animals and shit?
Dumb Blonde #1: When laws are interpreted for constitutionality, do judges take into account the intent of the framers?
Dumb Blonde #2: Oh hell no....I mean, the framers were just a bunch of old guys...it would be WAY too hard to take all of those dude's different opinions and like, make one thing out of them. I mean, duh!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Con Law Prof shows picture of gas station called The Lubritorium]: Can you imagine taking your car there? It sounds like it would get lubed up from every side.
Guy to Girl: Can you speak up?
Girl: It's written on the board
Guy: I can't see the board...Jackass
[Prof rooting around under podium to try to get a video cued up]: Wait a minute folks, I'm having a hard time getting it up.
[Discussion about Miscegenation Laws and which states had them in 1965.]
Guy in front row: Texas.
Guy: I don't know...because they're Texas and it just seems like something that would happen there. I mean, it's Texas...and that's all I should have to say.
Girl: Because it's next to Texas...I mean, they're bascially the same place.
[Student gets called on the first day of school]: I'm sorry, I don't do homework assignments over the summer break so I didn't do the reading.
[Prof explaining that over the summer he does Animal Rights work]: Hi, I'm Bob and I do animals.
Submitted by Energy Spatula
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Lexis Nexis rep: well, your security question was spouse's name.
2L: I don't even have a spouse!
Rep: This is pretty funny, actually.
2L: What did I say, Shawn Kemp or something?
Rep: (after determining that 2L was indeed the 2L in question): You wrote "I will kill you."
-- Stolen from Brian.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
1L: Yeah...I have to be honest, I'm still drunk from last night. I'm gonna have to pass.
Torts Prof: So, let's say you get a client with a similar problem, what would you do?
1L: I'd call Jim Sokolove. (editor's note: He's got commercials everywhere )
Trademarks Prof. [holding a poster of a pregnant girl scout]: I was going to tell you I was going to mount her...but that just sounded wrong.
Conlaw Prof [taking attendance]: Do we have a quorum?
2L: We have a minyan.
Evidence Prof: You know, I know you're all on instant messenger. I see one of you on this side of the room laughing and then, suddenly someone all the way over here is laughing.
Labor Prof: This arbitrator was tokin' some weed before he heard this case. In fact, that's gonna be one of the questions on the exam. "Was [arbitrator's name] tokin' on some weed before he heard this case?" The easy answer is yes.
Justice Kennedy: Wow, your school requires Conlaw? That's impressive! My school never did that!
2L: Where did you go to school?
Justice Kennedy: Harvard.
Conlaw Prof: When I first started teaching, one student wrote in his evaluation that I had nice legs.
Labor Prof: I dyed my hair since last we met. That's why I look different. My wife told me not to tell you, but I figured you may want to know what's different about me. I don't really know why I'm telling this to you all.
-- Submitted by 3L Carrie
Monday, December 12, 2005
-- Submitted by Jaime
International Law prof: There's a Latin phrase for it, but my Latin's a little rusty. Which is to say, I don't speak Latin.
-- Submitted by Melanie
Sports law prof: If T.O. needs to smoke some weed to be happy, we should just keep him happy.
2L: (explaining why there was a large homosexual population in San Francisco): Its more accepting, its safer...
Law and Sexuality Prof: And it was the only place to get laid.
Ethics prof: If you ever find yourself moving shotguns and money for a client , your plan is probably not airtight
-- Submitted by Melissa
2L: I believe that
ConLawProf: I dont, evil never dies
In re: 1st Amendment
ConLaw Prof: You have beaver shots, can I say beaver shots? Playboys have nude women, and hustler has beaver shots, is there a polite way of saying that?
ConLaw Prof: Handsome men in hunky poses oiled up, now THAT can get interesting!
ConLaw Prof: if you're ever bored and want you prurient interests appealed to, read state obscenity statutes, they're explicit.
ConLaw Prof: Apparently bestiality is big, I didn't even know it was possible until I came to law school, who knew?
ConLaw Prof: There are apparently a group of people that like to be peed on, and another group that likes sexual fun with defacatory matter.
ConLaw Prof: it's not considered lewd to display the penis in its flaccid state, which is how you gals are used to seeing it right?
ConLaw Prof: Today is obscenity day…all the words your mother didn't want you to say, we're saying them.
Con Law Prof: They had the Friday afternoon dirty movie in the Supreme Court…..someone had to screen these things.
ConLaw Prof: you have lots of bondage and S&M, I'm not so sure whether the average person finds manacles sexy
ConLaw Prof: 1973…everyone is getting stoned and having sex…..so it's not shocking to the Woodstock people but it is to rural Georgia
-- Submitted by Melissa
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
(Pause) Mmhmm, you think? Hurry up, Regis is going to tell me to get of the phone.
2L #2: If she doesn't know, we can poll the audience.
2L #1: (on the phone) That's just the $200 question. You should see the one for a million -- I have to redraft the Federal Rules of Evidence.
1L2 (white): and those two white people are us!
1L1 (white): you know you're in the right study group when the whites are the minority, we got ourselves some indians and a korean :)
Prof N, after a student ended her answer with the word “maybe”: You can’t get rid of a bad answer just by putting ‘maybe’ at the end.
Prof N, justifying his life: A pretty high percentage of great writers have also been great drinkers.
Prof N, in re: Joseph Martin Deli v. Schumacher: You can make more money with porn than you can with corned beef.
Prof N: If you don’t have any questions about mistake…then you really haven’t followed me. But I don’t have many answers either.
-- Submitted by TI
Sunday, December 04, 2005
1L1: Im so tired
1L2: Have some of my red bull [hands her the Red Bull can]
1L1: [After taking a sip] What's in that vodka?!?!?!!
1L2: Yeah! It's so good...
1L1: NOT WHEN YOU ARE HUNGOVER!
The Namby Pamby
Prof: North Korea doesn’t manufacture anything but trouble.
Prof: The seminal case in this instance, if that’s still a permissible word to use these days…”
Prof: I’ll give you a story of an idiot; someone I know very well—myself.
Prof: Generally on exams, I just give points for good things you say, rather than taking away points for mistakes—-unless sometimes I think, 'whoah, this person is dangerous.'
-- Submitted by TI
Saturday, December 03, 2005
One-L The Second: "Dude, there's no mirror image rule for dating."
Submitted by Chazmo
Friday, December 02, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Still Drunk 2L Chick: I feel fabulous!
2L Chick 2: I haven't used the word fabulous to describe how I feel since I've gotten to law school
2L Chick 3: (To 2L Chick 2) You used the word fabulous after you got fucked last night
Outside a class
2L Chick 1: What should I get him Christmas?
2L Chick 2: Get him Tiffany's Cologne
2L Chick 1: His Colgone is Camel Light.
As 2L's are sitting outside waiting to get into a classroom for the next class:
1L Chick: Could you take a picture of our entire section?
2L Chick 1: Sure
2L Chick 2: (After they leave) I couldn't find 5 people, let alone a 100 people that I would want to take a picture with
2L Guy: Like me?
2L Chick 2: No, I would want a picture with you, with you right in between my breasts.
-- Submitted by The Namby Pamby
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
::Prof:: awww they take out all the good cases in the book. There used to be a westren union case where the guy said... come back behind the counter and I'll clean your clock...
Monday, November 28, 2005
1L guy: You know WalMart will be selling them soon.
1L girl: What, little Asian babies?
1L guy: Oh you know, whatever... Mexican ones... on the clearance rack. Did I really just say that?
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
But, well, that is probably not the story you want to tell.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
Prof N: “Sex is one of those things in which the amateur is more highly esteemed than the professional.”
Prof N: “Some things go away when you die, besides life. But not contracts.”
Prof N, excerpting from the discussion of Hadley v. Baxendale: “I’ve already got a contract with Hadley to take his shaft.”
Prof N: “Okay, I’m not takin’ your shaft!”
-- Submitted by TI
Contracts prof: "If it only takes three or four hours to resolve a case, I usually don't even charge them [the client]."
1L: "Is that why you're teaching now?"
-- Submitted by Laura
Friday, November 18, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
-- Submitted by AS
-- Submitted by Nicolle N.
--Submitted by Jessica N.
At a space law moot court competition: "A journey into space is a journey far, far away."
-- Submitted by Thomas J.
1L #1: Um, the book here says that if a statue is as vague as Wiscon's first sentence, we can't do what you just told us to do.
Torts Prof: Read this very carefully. How many sentences does the Wisconsin statue have?
1L #2: ...TWO!
Torts Prof: Very good. Read carefully next time.
-- Submitted by Thomas V.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Why you should prepare your witness for cross-examination:
Q. So did you ever try to contact any of the people who used your product, to see if they had become ill?
A. No, we didn't really deal with the tradesmen. We mostly sold to distributors.
Q. So that's a "no"?
A. That's a no.
Q. If you wanted to try to reach these guys, how would you go about it?
A. I don't know.
Q. Would contacting [this trade's local union] be a good place to start?
Q. Did you ever give the union a call?
A. No. That would probably just lead to a whole bunch more lawsuits.
Labor Prof: Maybe if there are not any trade secrets to reveal they'll just leave yak testicles all over the chairs?
Monday, November 14, 2005
1L guy: yeah, that's probably more appropriate.
1L girl: yeah, and there's a better selection.
1L guy: that’s true...i'll stick to undergrads...even more selection...its like costco
-- Submitted by The Other Lisa
Prof N: We have to assume people are acting rationally. On the other hand, we can’t assume that people have the same value system.
Prof N: (re: why promissory estoppel was called equitable estoppel in the early days) A new name sounds like you’re wingin’ it.
Prof N: We’re just talking about Contract Law, but there are other types of law, maybe not as beautiful...
-- Submitted by TI
Sunday, November 13, 2005
2L: I dunno.
3L: They are clearly called Uggs for a reason! UGH! UGH! UGH!
2L: Careful. You don't want to start marketing them by mistake.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Friday, November 11, 2005
2L the second: Congratulations, sympathies - whatever you feel like offering.
Later in the conversation...
2L the second: Honestly though, i'm too big of an egomaniac to not like it there. I'll be fine.
2L #2: i seriously hope so. the only thing more invasive is a cavity search.
2L #1: ick. I suspect they'd do blood work if it was legal
2L #2: probably...print out my whole freaking genetic code
2L #1: well, then we'll know which other law students we shouldn't mate with
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Prof: If hunting is a major economic activity it is difficult to see how the privileges and immunities clause could countenance different prices being charged residents and non-residents for licenses. However, if hunting is reduced to sort of a fun past-time of just shooting large mammals in the head, then the state can charge different prices for permits to engage in its blood sports.
-- submitted by gar
Civ Pro Prof: so what could they have done?
1L: they could file an amicus brief.
Civ Pro Prof: yeah, that's totally right. does everyone know what that is? it's a friend of the court. so they can file a brief, but that's it. they are friends, but not friends with benefits.-- Submitted by Lisa
1L: Maybe you could argue that the veterinarian provoked the dog. I mean, not for him to bite him, but while he's examining him.
Torts Prof: Sorry, I just got a mental picture of one of my dogs at a rectal exam. Just the look on my dog's face. I have a picture in my office... Not at that moment.
-- Submitted by Marisol
Prof N: “Generally speaking in the law of contracts, we don’t care about fault.”
Prof N: “If there are two things that are inescapably intertwined, and you can think about one without thinking about the other, then you’re thinking like a lawyer.”
Prof N: "Past consideration (something done in the past) isn’t consideration. It’s not quid pro quo, ’cause you already got the quid.”
-- Submitted by TI
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Without further adieu, I bring you some of the work of Prof N.
Prof N: Elton John- it's a he isn't it?
Prof N: Austin is an unusual case- one party has the other party by the short hairs.
Prof N: My wife drinks Grant's, good and inexpensive. There's nothing like a dame, as the song goes.
Prof N: I could sell a Harrier Jet to the Taliban.
-- Submitted by James
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
2L #2: Yeah, I have to. At least I got the section I wanted.
2L #1: I don't think one section is better than the other.
2L #2: Well, I was hoping for a lesser of the evils.
2L #1: It's not really a "lesser of evils". It's just [Professor Z] less.
Class: (muffled laughter)
Evidence Prof: Ummmm yeah, maybe I shouldn't have shared that.
--Submitted by Molly
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Friday, November 04, 2005
Submitted by Homie
Family Law Prof: "Well, he's a contract killer. He only does it for money."
Submitted by Elle
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
(In regards to the “I’m not sayin’ he shoulda killed her… but I understand!” OJ Skit and the justifications for voluntary manslaughter.)
Crim Law Prof: Chris Rock is drawing on 500 years of common law history when he does that routine!
Submitted by Pete
Submitted by Dorothy
professor: what traveling salesman?
student: the traveling salesman somehow duping people...
professor: The door to door salesman! There's a big difference- traveling salesmen get jokes written about them. Door to door salemen don't- because they're not funny.
Con Law prof: It's Friday afternoon, I guess I have to do things to wake you up. Ok, I have to get on the desk. After this case, didn't you start shouting, "I'm free! I'm free! I'm free!"
Con Law prof: You don't know how much I can see from here. All things.
Torts prof: There's a magic word that begins with c…cookie, no. Consent.
Torts prof: The Flopper is societally valuable.
Torts prof: Summers v. Tice is a case I like. I like the theory behind it…yes, I like it when people get shot.
Torts prof: Why would you brag to people that you did it?
Torts prof: Beer!
Contracts prof: Undue influence is "duress lite."
-- Submitted by Homie
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
3L#2: Well, you know that is valuable consideration.
3L#1: Yeah, but I would've settled for 3 camels. Mostly because the guy didn't seem that bad- you know not like the typical "I'll pour gasoline on women and set them on fire" guy. Plus, the blonde girl was kinda sucky.
3L chick: We read that case with the cat. Oh, and then he told this really funny story and no one appreciated it. If you had been there, I would have been cracking up. I mean, people were laughing, but not the people I'm on board with, you know?
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
1) You MUST be a law student. I can't check the veracity of this, but what kind of weird shit would make stuff up pretending to be one?
2) If I, with the consensus of the people who are permitted to post themselves, think you're especially funny, we'll let you post yourself. As of now, the list is set. Don't ask to be added.
3) FOR THOSE WHO CAN POST -- you can choose to keep comments on or off for your posts.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
Friday, October 14, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
FPS Prof: So what did you do to solve this problem?
2L Chick: I stuck my hands in my pockets, you know, so he'd reach over and try to take them out of my pockets... I dominated him.
2L chick: I mean, for $700 I would at least expect the mixing to be decent.
2L chick #2: I could do so much more as a DJ for $700, at least pick some good songs or something.
Sex-crazed 2L chick: For $700 you could get a couple of male strippers! That'd be way better than a DJ, unless you needed music for your party.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Well Dressed 2L: "Hey, how's it going?"
Jeans and Sweatshirt 2L: "Going well. How's the job hunt?"
WD 2L: "Going all right. Still have some more interviews and applications to deal with."
JS 2L: "Oh, you're all dressed up. Who are you interviewing with today?"
WD 2L: "Um, I'm going to church."
Friday, October 07, 2005
On a Monday I am mailing
an offer that is waiting
to give you power to accept
But on Tuesday I’m revoking
Cushing v. Thompson says my choking
Has gotta get there first you bet
Oh, the mail’s not so fast
Tienhoven didn’t get a telegram
Cause Byrne’s an ass
Restatement 40 says I gotta
Send that revocation faster
Unless a contract I am after
But you put acceptance in the mail
Before it even gets too me
And under section 63
We’ve got a contract
That’s legally binding
Palo Alto, pretty messy
An exception, and it's senseless
Protection an offeree doesn’t need
Because it’s an option acceptance
is effective with deposit,
that’s the rule generally
Ohh, Caldwell’s offer to Cline
Isn’t valid until mail opening
The case of cotton trader Willis versus Postal Telegraph
Says trade custom is a laugh
If you accept I’ll have to abide by that mailed offer
Revocation isn’t lawful
Cause that contract
Is legally binding
How will I know?
If your acceptance gets lost
It will still bind me
And I will have to pay the cost
Household Fire versus Grant, get lost
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Monday, October 03, 2005
Embarrassed 2L: Dude. Dude. (Cough) Dude.
Engrossed 2L: What dude, check this out. Holly likes new experiences...
FPS professor: You know, Mr. [student], we all know people surf the web during our classes and we just have to deal with it. But could you please keep it a bit more classroom appropriate? There are just some demons that should not be exorcised in class, do you understand what I'm saying?
Engrossed 2L: Uh, I wasn't looking looking...
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Me: and yet...you take notes
Guy: it's an exercise
Guy: a sifting exercise
Guy: like finding a needle in a haystack
Guy: except the haystack is on fire
Guy: and the needle is coated with Ebola
Monday, September 26, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Dr. R: Jeffrey Dahmer liked to drill small holes and put mureatic acid into people's brains to make them zombies so that they'd do his sexual bidding. Of course they'd get brain infections and die, so it wasn't sexful... successful... that's great.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
2L chick #2: (whispered to 1L dude) Run!
2L chick #3: (whispered to 1L dude) As fast as you can!
2L chick #2: (not quite a whisper to 1L dude) She is engaged but eats men for dinner!