Contracts Prof: Mr. [student's name], please tell us about the next case.
1L: Yeah...I have to be honest, I'm still drunk from last night. I'm gonna have to pass.

Torts Prof: So, let's say you get a client with a similar problem, what would you do?
1L: I'd call Jim Sokolove. (editor's note: He's got commercials everywhere )

Trademarks Prof. [holding a poster of a pregnant girl scout]: I was going to tell you I was going to mount her...but that just sounded wrong.

Conlaw Prof [taking attendance]: Do we have a quorum?
2L: We have a minyan.

Evidence Prof: You know, I know you're all on instant messenger. I see one of you on this side of the room laughing and then, suddenly someone all the way over here is laughing.

Labor Prof: This arbitrator was tokin' some weed before he heard this case. In fact, that's gonna be one of the questions on the exam. "Was [arbitrator's name] tokin' on some weed before he heard this case?" The easy answer is yes.

Justice Kennedy: Wow, your school requires Conlaw? That's impressive! My school never did that!
2L: Where did you go to school?
Justice Kennedy: Harvard.

Conlaw Prof: When I first started teaching, one student wrote in his evaluation that I had nice legs.

Labor Prof: I dyed my hair since last we met. That's why I look different. My wife told me not to tell you, but I figured you may want to know what's different about me. I don't really know why I'm telling this to you all.

-- Submitted by 3L Carrie