Friday, November 17, 2006

Everyone Loves Footnoting

Associate Editor 1: Yeah, I looked for hours, and I couldn’t find the book. So I passed the buck.
Associate Editor 2: I tried that, and I had the buck passed right back. Lemme know how it works for you.

Interview Hell

Two interviewees discuss the same interviewer:

One: The little prick told me that I spelled “Appellee” wrong on paragraph 2 of page eight in my writing sample, and I went back and checked that shit and no I did not.

Two: This was like…seriously, he was such a jerk. He was like “There are some problems with your writing sample. You used an exclamation mark here, and not a period, and I think it’s very unprofessional. Then we had the, “So what happened with your grades” discussion. I’m like “They were bad. My parents didn’t die, I don’t have a good excuse.” And then, there’s an awkward pause, because this was just the most painful experience of my life. So we’re sitting there, and the guy goes, “so, do you sing?” And I said “Excuse me.”

Thursday, November 16, 2006

looking for love in all the wrong places

The scene: Bioethics class is looking at an egg donor website on the Smartboard.

Prof: Okay, this one here actually provides a picture.
2L guy: Is she hot?
Prof clicks on picture.
2L: Well, maybe after a couple of beers.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Sure, blame it on the old guys...

Professor: Well, but that really depends on what the optimal amount of sexual harassment is. It's definitely above zero.

(Class laughs nervously.)

Professor: Damn! I mean that's what the court thinks! [Then very seriously] THE COURT. NOT ME.

Assault with a pregnant mouse?

To 1L Torts class about practice exams:

Torts Prof: I presume that none of you did this under realistic under fire conditions, with someone chewing gum, someone making this [sniffling/snorting] noise, someone coughing, and you want to beat them with a pregnant mouse.

-Overheard by MS

They must work in the little shed in the back...

Student asking question of professional athletic team's in-house counsel.

Law Student: So, how much does the outhouse counsel do?

Monday, November 13, 2006

Only if you commit a crime?

Crim prof: If you act according to what God tells you, you're insane.

Overheard by EM

The younger, the better

Federal Income Tax Prof.: The tax code is like a page, Congress can't keep it's hand off of it.

Overheard by Ex.Coll.


Re: a particularly brutal rape case

Crim Law Prof: You can see that this isn't the candles and the chardonnay.

overheard by 1LG (

There's plenty of time to be an asshole

While discussing Bak-a-lum v. Alcoa:

Contracts Prof: Yeah, you can terminate at will, but c'mon; you can't be an asshole about it!

Overheard by Nova

In Good Company

Prof: Alabama has been known for its racism.
1L: You know Alabama isn't the only racist state, Mississippi is also very racist.

Overheard by anonymous

You know you're a law student when...

2L: "Oh my god! So Denise Richards was in a casino for a party and got pissed off at a paparazzi. She grabbed their laptop and threw it off a balcony and, I shit you not, she hit an 80 year old woman in a wheelchair. Could you imagine what a great torts case this would be?"

Overheard by El Creel

Close enough

3L: Yeah, I think I found that information on that crazy conservative organization's webpage, Americans for the Family Way?

She meant Focus on the Family.

Can we pick the people?

RE: computer hackers performing tests on other networks, which the court found to not cause any actual damage

"It's sort of like the velociraptors testing the weaknesses of the security fence. (pause) I had a Jurassic Park craving this weekend that was not satisfied, so if you come up to my office later on, you may find me watching the DVD. Do people get that or is it just me? Do you sometimes just want to see dinosaurs eating people?"

Overheard by TI

Definitely a four letter word...

Professor (after a student used fairness as a factor in a balancing test): Did you just use the f-word? You DO NOT use that language in polite company.

Nut Up.

Female 3L: I'm so cold. Maybe I should grow a beard...

Male 3L: Maybe you should grow a pair of balls.

Female 3L: That wouldn't keep me warm.

Male 3L: Yeah, but it'd keep you from complaining.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

a sticky situation

1L Male: Law school is a lot like having sex without a condom. You're happy you got it, but pretty bummed you came.

Sad But True

IP Prof: Can anyone tell me what fantasy baseball is?
Student: The Cubs winning the World Series.