Thursday, November 23, 2006

Golddiggers: 1, Bleeding Hearts: 0

2L #1: Do you know where diamonds come from?
2L #2: Yes.
2L #1: They come from the sweat and blood of children and slavery.
2L #2: No, they come from coal.

And Now They're Both Frigid

At 2L #1's House for Thanksgiving

2L #2: That's the thing about the Wisconsin's really easy to pick up and hard to get rid of.

2L #3: Like 2L #1.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

You sound like my mother...

3L: But does that make this true because he is lien creditor? [Legitimate Question]

Professor: NO!

(awkward 10 second silence.)

Professor: Would you care for me to elaborate?

At least we know where you're going.

3L: What I lack in planning, I make up for in arrogance.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Professor on Love

Family Law Professor: I agree with you, 3L, it is possible to find love when you're old. ...But it's unlikely.

Are You Sure You're Not A 1L?

2L: I'll do anything I can to not focus on the pain...because when I focus on the pain, I throw up.

Salesmen run when they see me coming...

Business Writing Prof (talking about fee when returning a leased car): Never pay a fee to return a car, cross it right off. No one is going to kill a deal cause you won't pay a $150 fee...People don't like doing business with me.

Fine, I'll do the dishes.

3L: Oh come on, my kitchen is not that bad.
2L: 3L, I've seen swimming holes full of retards that are more sanitary than your kitchen.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Time to go for older women?

2L #1: pregnant chicks freak me out, i try to avoid them.
2L #2: i try to avoid chicks who can get pregnant. granted this doesn't do much for my romantic life...

ew, not like that!

Prof, while discussing jail house snitches and when they violate Massiah: So the snitch is sucking up to you. In the metaphorical sense.

*class groans*

Prof: Oh, come on! You all know what goes on in prisons.

Good Taste Police!!

Prof, while discussing Lynch v. Donnelley: The description of this holiday display sounds incredibly tacky. It's too bad that we can't make a legal claim on the basis of poor taste.

Elwood and Jake would be proud

Con Law prof: We like Christianity and Judaism! Country and western! All together!