Saturday, December 09, 2006

It's Good That Your School Offers Free Professional Therapy...

1L: I wasn't aware I still had emotions 'til last week. I thought law school killed them all
3L: The trick is being able to bottle them up and slowly begin the march to a midlife crisis.
1L: I've be bottling them up for a long time then...a midlife crisis is a long way away for a 22 year old.
3L: That's what second year is for

R. Kelly, esquire

3L (pointing to her Lipton Green Tea): I thought this would taste like what I imagine pee would taste like.
2L: Oh, I really like that tea. I like things that are tart and kind of surprising... I guess maybe I would like urine?

That'll happen...

3L #1: Yeah, I realize now why we never noticed him. He is a really non-descript guy.

3L #2: I wouldn't notice him unless I had fucked him.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Perfect your gansta...

3L: If there one thing that 2Pac can get you through, it's secured transactions.

This is what we've been training for...

[Two library employees discussing the renovation of a balcony area in the library.]

Library employee #1: Well, we are going to replace that with a temporary railing.

Library employee #2: For that short period of time? Doesn't seem worth it.

Library employee #1: Have you met the kids here? You really trust them NOT to fall off?

Library employee #2: We are so going to get sued for this conversation.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Which Is Why You Need 100 More Bed Posts

2L #1: I'm going to start a Facebook group entitled "I've been let down by 2L #2."
2L #2: How about "I've been shot down by 2L #2?"
2L #1: There is nobody in the world that could join that group.

How on earth did Scalia go in the first round of the draft?

2L: "My fantasy football team is just like law school. Good on paper but sucktacular in practice."

Overheard by a LawBitch

Ohhh... GANJA!

(3L's #1 and #2 are eavesdropping on a conversation about addictive board games)

3L #1: Did you just say that Jenga is a drug?
3L #3: It IS a drug! It's super-addictive!
3L #2: ...I never knew that Jenga could be considered a drug.
3L #4: No, you're thinking of ganja.

Monday, December 04, 2006

procrastinate with me!

If Supreme Court Justices were rock stars!

Only One Of Them Is Virus Free

Female 2L: Wow, someone keeps a clean inbox.
Male 2L: Well, one of us needs to keep a clean box.

A face that only a mother (or a cat) could love

Property professor: Tell us about the case.
1L: There was a crazy cat lady…
Property prof directs class to turn to picture of plaintiff and her cat
Property professor: How could you not love that face?
1L: It's not the cat I have a problem with.
Overheard by DSE

You don't have to read in law school?

3L (starting by reciting the facts of the case): "Just like everyone read."
Prof: "What do you mean everyone read? Don't be delusional."

Overheard by There's No Competition in Law School

takes a licking and keeps on ticking

In trial advocacy

Law Student, regarding a professor: "He's such a fucking cunning linguist."

Overheard by EN


1L: Where were you?
2L: I was working on a guy's D&D case. (drinking and driving)
1L: Dungeons and Dragons?
2L: ...Yes. A Paladin battered an Elf and stole his Sword of a Thousand Truths.

Overheard by JDM

Stress relief

Counselor (to the class): There are four stress related problems for law students: alcohlism, drug abuse, gambling and promiscuity.
1L: Beer, No-Doz, Poker and...working on it.

Overheard by JDM


Male 2L #1: Evidence sucks.
Female 2L: I'm not doing it.
Male 2L #1: Well, you're a better woman than I.
Male 2L #2: Nobody's a better woman than you.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

So, tell us what you really think...

Religion and the State professor, with regard to abstinence-only education:

"Might the money not be better spent on, you know, buying a bomb"