Friday, March 24, 2006

On Contract Drafting...

During a group contract drafting session:

2L #1: Didn't the professor say that she's been drafting contracts everyday for the last 15 years? Can you imagine coming into the office, sitting down at your desk, and doing this stuff everyday for the next 15 years?

2L #2: (pause) I'd rather be a stripper.

News Flash: 1L's Out of the Loop

Con Law Prof: Has anyone been following the Masawi case? Anyone? Come on!
1L: I think I can speak for all of us when I say that you and your colleagues do a pretty good job of keeping us away from following the news.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

It's not what you think, I swear!

1L girl: Oh, I didn't ride the mechanical bull. I rode [fellow 1L guy] instead! And I have the pictures to prove it.

From one extreme to the other... all in one class.

Male Evidence Prof: "That reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Thelma and Louise. Have you seen this movie Mr. 2L?
2L:"eh. No."
Prof:"Why are you Canadian?"
2L:"Nope ... i'm just a guy."


(later in the same class)

Prof:"The prosecution wants to do what? They want to call the wife to the stand and grill her... grill her like a Salmon."

Our favorite 1L

Property Prof: So are there any questions on the rule against perpetuity?
1L: Yeah, is this gonna be on the final? Cause I have to know if I should care or not...

Prof: Oh Mr. 1L for you, EVERYTHING in the class will be on the final.

On why we have juries..

Civ Pro Prof: [A jury trial] is a check on judges... because life tenure makes you crazy. Just look at Stephen Reinhardt of the 9th Circuit

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Con Law Prof.: Some of you, I know, have been thinking a lot about gay sex.

5 seconds later, after class starts laughing

Con Law Prof.: In the context of Legal Research and Writing, I mean.

Where's a Dictionary When You Need One?

Constitutional Law Professor (discussing constitutionality of discrimination): Well, Ms. 2L, was this invidious in nature?

Ms. 2L: (pause) What does invidious mean?

Tell us what you really think

Crim Pro Prof: I don't know what you guys know about J. Edgar Hoover, but he was pure incarnate evil.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

A good point... in theory...

Highschool Teacher was subject of abusive web site that call her many things. One of which was her weight the other that she was sleeping with the Principle.

2L: "But wait. It [the school district's pleading] said that she lost weight and sleep. Isn't that a good thing?"
Prof:"Yeah. Lets see you make that argument in court."

Sorry, my friend, you're wrong.

Prof: What can he do?
(Moments pass)
(More moments pass)
(More moments pass)
Prof: I can hold out longer than you.

Rapidly Dropping Standards

1L: "I just want somebody to sleep with"

Priorities in Order

2L in negotiations: "See, with each death, we don't just lose a life. We lose a customer. That's a problem."

Polygamist Possums

A conversation via AIM of two 1Ls in Property...

1L #1: what is this lecture?
1L #1: honestly
1L #1: how are possoms anthing like property?

1L #2: He's talking about possums?

1L #1: yes
1L #1: f***ing possums...and polygamy
1L #1: which weren't even IN the reading

Google Maps is the best

corporations prof, after receiving correct response to a posed question (it had been a few minutes): that's RIGHT! True that! Double true!!"

-- Overheard by DL

This case is an abomination!

Civ Pro Prof: It is clear here that the judge didn't care about the case. Look at footnote 8. He was just saying, "Look how much I know about the law… blah … blah.”

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A Long Strange Trip

Torts Prof: Then the 60’s happened…I…I don’t remember much…oh, boy!

Interchangeable blondes

Prof: Nicole Smith...what's her name? Ah, Anna Nicole Smith. I always get her mixed up with Jessica Simpson. I’m sure that’s unfair to one of them, but I’m not sure which one.

Law School is Like...

Professor Jokester: Asking people to give presentations is like karaoke. You can't convince them to do it, but then you can't shut them up.

Somebody's got a case of the Mondays

1L: I just had this revelation. When we get out of law school, they're going to make us be lawyers.

-- Overheard by KP

~~

Contracts prof: OK Miss 1L, what do you have to show for a material breach?
Miss 1L: That there was an agreement… and that it was materially breached…

-- Overheard by Anonymous

~~

Contracts prof: And Mr. 1L, what does the dissent have to say about it?
Mr. 1L: They don’t agree.
Contracts prof: Well, that’s certainly perceptive of you.

-- Overheard by Anonymous

The advantages of Law School

While talking about Insider Trading in Business Orgs...

Biz orgs Prof: "How much did O'Hagan [A lawyer who charged with insider trading] get?"
2L:"$4.3 million dollars.
Biz Prof:"And in the Chiarella case how much did he [a printer charged with insider trading] get?
2L: "Something like 30 grand"
Biz prof:"So. I guess going to Law School really pays off doesn't it?"

Hope He Brought Enough to Share

Discussing the emergency tooth issues he had that morning:

Civ Pro Prof: I'm sorry if today's lecture is pathetic, but I'm numb up to my skull and have painkillers that would put down an elephant. So if the novocaine wears off and I suddenly start screaming, you should all file out quietly.

...and later...

Civ Pro Prof: The drugs are talking, and I apologize for this.

Hello???

Questioning 2L after not being called on while raising hand: Did you just not see me, or did you just not want to call on me?

Eternal Sunshine of the 4th Circuit

“So what you’re asking, counsel, is for us not to really think today.”
- Judge Shedd (@ 4th Circuit Court of Appeals)

Monday, March 20, 2006

Our legal writing class is called CORE

2L on IM: apparently someone signed the blind letter "Ino Y. Korblowz"

2L on IM: and [writing professor] knocked 'em down a letter grade for it.

-- Overheard by JRS

Advanced Corporate Law Prof. (reading from the New York Times): “It says that yesterday Enron’s former CEO was attacked as a liar. Well, of course he’s a liar.”

Same Prof. : “[They next challenge the deal on fairness grounds.] You know you’re in real trouble when your unfair and inequitable argument come after the constitutional challenge.”

Overheard by Prof. Schwarzenegger.

He'd have competition

Crim Law Prof talking about the death penalty: “Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. Hmm, maybe I should run for office on that platform.”
- As overheard by Calculating Bitch

More in the water

Civ Pro 2 Prof: You all have to start reading the footnotes in the cases. I understand that stopping to read a footnote, while reading a case, is like having mad passionate sex and having to get out of bed and answer the ringing doorbell - something you really do not want to do, but are compelled to do because it might be Ed McMann - but do it anyway because it could change life as you know it.

- Overheard by VLJ

Something in the water

Civ Pro prof: Sorry guys, I'm having trouble gettin' it up for you. If I could get it up, I would.

After 30 seconds of awkward silence

Civ Pro prof: Hmm, that didn't come out quite like I imagined it would. I was referring to the powerpoint.

-- Overheard by EN

Sunday, March 19, 2006

"Miracle" Whip

On in rem actions:

Civ Pro Prof: So what's the deal? Are you really suing the mayonnaise? What's it going to do, appear pro se? 'The mayonnaise has no objection.'

MarchMadness (part 2)

Thursday in class... (while the rest of the world is watching the games - this class started at 3pm on thursday)

Evidence prof: "Mr. 2L -It's obvious that you are paying more attention to that screen then to me. So. Tell the class what you know... What is the score?

March Madness (part 1)

[The professor went to Montana - and we are in Michigan - This was sent after the first round - before the second]

Evidence Prof Email to the Class: "Montana won it's NCAA playoff game last night. I can't find the Michigan score, how did Michigan do?"

The title of his Email was "the Real UofM" ....