Thursday, February 02, 2006

Oh, but you are!

2L #1: You have to RSVP so I know how much food to make.
2L #2: I don't want to RSVP. I want to be a surprise.

Probably not what he meant to say

Property prof: I've been given the middle finger so many times in my life, I've never even thought of suing for it.


Later that same class:

Prof: I didn't mean to cut you off.
1L: It's ok, I've been cut off many times before.
Prof: Just the way I've been fingered several times before.

Submitted by Homie B.

But then there'd be no torts hypos.

Torts prof: Children! Damn children! The world would be much better off if there were no children!

Submitted by LB

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Constitutional Law

Concerning the importance of the third amendment:

Bert: ernie, why do you have a banana in your ear?
Ernie: huh? repeat that
Bert: WHY DO YOU HAVE A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!
Ernie: it keeps away the crocodiles
Bert: we are in brooklyn, the closest crocodiles are in the zoo (something about them being thousands of miles away from the keys)
Ernie: see, it is working

Submitted by January

Abstract interpretation

(Looking at the clock, which is usually really off)
Prof: Now I don't know what time it is...
Usual Suspect 2L (interrupting): Well that depends on what you believe about time, or if you believe in time, or if time itself is relative, or...
Prof: I think what matters is what time the Registrar thinks I should begin class.

International Law and 24

International Law Prof: Once the missile is in the air, you can't stop it
2L: Jack Bauer could.

Real Life Contract Drafting

Prof: (Explaining Recitals in contract drafting) Sometimes, the reliance brings in torts for damages by showing unequal footing to start. Britney and Kevin are getting married. Britney is worth tons of money; Kevin is worth nothing!
2L: But he has a new song out!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Classes of Yesteryear

Evidence Prof: Someone told me to take Wills and Trusts; we called it Death and Greed.

Monday, January 30, 2006

We really should look into getting satellites...

LLM #1: So this cat comes out of a hole and if he sees his shape, then winter will last longer.
LLM #2: How can a cat not know his shape? This is how Americans predict the weather?

civil disobedience

Prof (after getting through C while taking attendance): Oh, the hell with this. Everyone's here. I can stand up to authority.

International Trade Law Shenanigans

Professor: Now, what is C going to say about this? In plain terms...

Student: Shenanigans...

Professor: Well, that wasn't exactly the word I was thinking of, but Yes - Discriminatory Shenanigans.

Submitted by MJ

At least HE gets it

2L Professor (explaining attendance policy): You're allotted 2 absences per credit hour. That's 8 absences, which allots you room for sickness, emergencies... and the occasional hangover.

Submitted by the BLS
Civ Pro Prof: OK, what are the elements of negligence that the plaintiff needs to prove? You should know this from Torts last semester...
1L #1: Proximate Cause, Duty, Negligence..ummm..
Civ Pro Prof: Huh? You have to prove negligence in order to prove negligence?
1L #2: Don't worry, we didn't get it either.
Civ Pro Prof: You want me to tell Torts Prof that you didn't get it?
1L #2: He read my test answers. He already knows.

Submitted by CS

Professor R Strikes Again

Excerpts from the recent law clinic meeting:

Prof R: Uncle R's Rules of Legislation: Any law named after a dead kid is probably a bad law.

Prof R: Bless you, my child.

Prof R: In an abysmally stupid--strike that. In an unusual decision, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court decided...

Prof R: ...And those are the best custody battles of all. Mom versus her own mom. Blood on the mat. No contesto.

Submitted by SunCynic