Is it Strickland yet?

Attorney: "Your honor, I wasn't aware my client had any priors."

Judge: "Really. You represented him on that case."

Overheard by JLE

Priapism is a serious condition

Torts Professor: Party A agrees to have 'intimate relations' with party B for $20. Party B knowingly gives party A a counterfeit $20 bill. Is there harm? I mean, Party A is stiffed.

Overheard by DJB

Another great reason to spend $50K

Torts Prof: "I didn't take notes in law school. Though in some classes, I got so bored, that I figured that law school would provide me with the perfect opportunity to learn how to write with my left hand. So I did take some notes, but they were technically penmanship practice."

Overheard by KG

He meant point the finger of blame at her, clearly

Re: Bonkowski v. Arlan's Department Store

Torts Prof: Defendants may, in this case, possibly be held liable for a tort if "one holds her down while the other one fingers her."

Overheard by DF

Invest in some really big notebooks

Evidence Prof: Now the defendants have heard that their medication is causing praipism. That’s like in the Viagra and cialis commercials when they say, “If you’ve had an erection for more than four hours…” This is a serious condition. Any man knows how hard it would be to try to pee standing on your head.

Overheard by JV

You found a use for it after all!

2L, yelling: I am going to beat you to death with my UCC!

Overheard by LH

It's similar to the douchebag test

Contracts Professor: "Bastardy proceedings are interesting because you don't actually get to prove someone is a bastard."

Overheard by mn

but he did it for you?

1L #1: but a hammer and nails is not intrinsically dangerous

1L #2: i don't know, jesus was killed with a hammer and nails.

Overheard by EW

Admit it, you know this guy

Professor: "Now I remember back when I was in law school, and even in undergrad - even though that was a long time ago, that if someone asked me how much time I spent on something – I'd lie! I'd tell them I didn’t spend any time on it, or just 15 minutes, but in reality I spent three hours. Why? Because that’s the competition! I want them to only spend 15 minutes. So don’t trust other people I guess is what I’m trying to tell you. Think about it! If I spend 3 hours working on something and they spend 15 minutes, guess who lives in the bigger house!"

Overheard by LegalBuffy

On the count of three, everybody vomit

Prof walks in, shows the bloodstains on his shirt from his neck: "Hold on while I get a towel but don't worry, I'm not canceling class."

Overheard by MJG

yes please!

Criminal Law prof: "You can still consent to have a good wrestle with your buddy on the floor … assuming guys still do that."

Overheard by ML

Character and fitness is overrated

The Dean: "Don't let bar nights bar you from the bar."

Overheard by I could be sleeping...

thank you, I'm here all week

Torts professor: "Sex for money is prostitution… so the only harm is if you got stiffed."

Overheard by I could be sleeping....

Maybe not so bad after all

Civ Pro Prof: "You know, extortion has such a negative connotation."

Overheard by without reason

But we paid $50K for it!

Prof: How many of you think this year [3L] is totally unnecessary?

*Everyone raises their hand*

Prof: IT IS!!

Overheard by Melanie

R. Kelly gives two thumbs up

Associate Dean: "Yes, urination is always a treat."

Overheard by AK

processed

Torts Professor on first day of class: "Welcome to Torts R Us, an introduction suing everyone for just about everything. Learning to sue the bastards should be fun!"

Overheard by Newly Minted 1L

Rules are for wusses.

Torts prof: "Rules are a starting point... and often an annoying impediment."

Overheard by Sara

Figures.

From a firm sponsored mini-golf outing:
Summer Associate #1(shouting from hole 4 to hole 5): Summer Associate #2, are you guys winning?
Summer Associate #2 (shouting back): I don't know, we're cheating.

Overheard by KW

Only $10 on iTunes

Crim Professor: Vagina, Vagina, Vagina, Vagina, Vagina, Vagina! Are you over it yet?
(pause)
Crim Professor: Oh shit, this class is recorded for iLecture.

Overheard by Frangipani